


Wildfire

by KyloTrashForever



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: F/M, First Time, Force Bond Threesome, Hux Bullying, Inappropriate Use of the Force, Interrogation Room Smut Because It Should Have Happened, Kylo Ren Angst, Leia/Ben Reunion, Light Dom/sub, Lightsaber Battles, Oral Sex, Post-Star Wars: The Last Jedi, Redeemed Ben Solo, Threesome - F/M/M, Tied-Up Rey, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex, kylo rage
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-21
Updated: 2018-06-04
Packaged: 2019-04-25 15:20:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 12
Words: 38,876
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14381430
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KyloTrashForever/pseuds/KyloTrashForever
Summary: Five months after the battle of Crait, Rey is still plagued by the bond that should have been broken. She has sought solace in another, but her mind is ever on the dark leader of her enemy that she still desperately wishes to save. With the fate of the galaxy seeming to rest on her shoulders, Rey must choose between following her duty, or following her heart.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone! This is my first fan fiction- and to be honest the only reason it came about is because the events of The Last Jedi have plagued me incessantly. That paired with the ever present fear that Disney will sink my ship faster than you can say, “Titanic”, led me to just pour out all my wants and wishes in story form before they get that chance. Because I’m the most extra person in the galaxy, and because music is such a big inspiration for me, I’m pairing each chapter with its own track, building a soundtrack for my fic. :) (Link will be at the bottom of each chapter.) I’m uploading the first five chapters I completed while waiting for an invite for an account, and plan to upload at least one chapter a week moving forward until I get all of this out of my system. I hope you like it!
> 
> Edit: It’s been brought to my attention that this should maybe be marked as “E”, I originally had it as “M” because the earlier scenes were fairly mild, but the longer Rey and Ben are together the braver I seem to get. Haha. So for the sake of the later scenes and possible future scenes I will be changing the rating.

“Poison and Wine by The Civil Wars”

      _Silence_. Beautiful, blissful silence. How long had it been since Rey had last enjoyed a quiet moment? Of late her mind had been filled with the quiet torment of the one who would seek to destroy everything she had worked so hard to achieve. She had the makings of a powerful Jedi. She had become a crucial part of all that remained of the resistance. She had the love of a wonderful man… but it was not enough.Though she could outwardly live the lie that she had built around her like an impenetrable fortress, she could not hide from the truth in her heart. Something was missing from her life. It had been 5 months since that day on the salt fields of Crait where she had last seen him. She could not forget his face, the look of torment and beseechment he had given her as she’d climbed aboard the ship that whisked her and the remaining members of the resistance away from the clutches of his New Order.

  
     No, she could not forget his face, largely in part because the bond that should have died with Snoke still tethered them. Bound by destiny, she was haunted by the man she shouldn’t want, the man the darkest part of her needed. He was always there, in her mind, in her vision, coaxing her. Beguiling her,  attempting to draw her away from everything she’d built. To give it all up just to be with him. To rule with him.

  
     She knew there was good in Ben. She refused to call him by his ridiculous moniker, it represented everything she hoped to rid him of. If only she could make him see that there was another way to achieve that sense of belonging he craved, that sense of rightness he’d sought since childhood. Since the day Luke betrayed him. She hung her head and sighed at her own inner turmoil.

  
     “ _Alone again I see. Were you mine, I’d never leave you alone to your own obvious torment_.”

  
     Rey didn’t even bother to look up. She knew her peace couldn’t last long. He was always finding ways to blast across the bond and find her.

  
     “There would be no need to, seeing as you would be the source of my torment.” She said, finally raising her head to look at him. His dark locks hung in his face, partially covering the jagged scar resting across the right side of his face.

  
     Ben crossed the room to sit beside her. “Ah,” he said. “we’re playing pretend again.” He chuckled to himself. “We both know you want me here as much as I want to be here with you.”

  
     Rey scowled. “You can tell yourself that if it soothes your own ego, but there’s no truth in it.” Even to her it sounded weak, just like her resolve.

  
     “I have a theory, my little Jedi,” he started. “Would you like to hear it?”

  
     “I don’t imagine it matters what I want where you’re concerned, you’ll tell me either way.” She replied.

  
     He smiled and she had to be careful to still the racing of her heart that ensued. She wouldn’t be surprised if he could sense even that. “I think, that if you really wanted to be rid of me, the bond wouldn’t allow me access. I believe that if you really hated me as much as you say. I couldn’t touch you.. like this.”

  
     With his words he slid a gloved hand up her cheek and into her hair, removing the ties hat held it up, allowing he tresses to fall freely down her back. Ben released a shaky breath and said, “I love your hair like this. It’s as wild as you pretend not to be. You should never hide it, it’s as shameful as hiding who you really are. Mine.” He all but growled the last word as he pulled her chin in his direction and pressed his mouth to hers.

  
     Rey instantly opened her mouth and allowed him unfettered access. How many times had they played this game? She fought weakly and he won every time. Ben moaned into her mouth as his tongue found hers. Rey’s skin begin to heat as she felt the storm of desire building inside her. She had never given her body to Ben in any of his visits, but he had long since staked his claim over her mouth. She knew she had to end it lest it go too far and then there would be no turning back.    She pushed him away and tried to catch her breath, grinding out, “ **Don’t touch me.** ”

  
     Also noticeably shaken, Ben still managed to laugh softly. “Your little Jedi parlor tricks don’t work on me Rey. I can’t be compelled to not take the things that I want. Especially when they belong to me.”

  
     She stood angrily, shouting, “ _I do not belong to you!_ ”

  
     It was then she heard a sharp knock on her door. She stood her ground for moments, staring at Ben, still struggling to catch her breath. He lightly closed the small distance between them and leaned in close to her ear. “Of course you do, and one day soon, you’ll embrace it without fear. I’ll be right here waiting.”

  
     Another knock sounded at the door and she snapped her head in its direction. “Who is it?”

  
     “It’s me. Are you alright? You sound out of breath.” Blasts. It was Finn. No, not blasts. She should be happy he’s here. She _is_ happy he’s here.

  
     “I’m fine! I’ll unlock the door, hold on.” She turned back to Ben’s direction but he’d disappeared, thankfully. She had convinced the remainder of the rebellion that the bond had died with Snoke, and when he tarried near while she had to interact with another person.. it made it increasingly harder to keep up the ruse.

  
     Rey strode over to the door of her room and wrenched it open. “Hey.” She said. “Sorry, I was meditating and was just startled to be brought out if it so abruptly.”

  
     Finn grinned in that boyish way she loved. “Ah, sorry about that. I didn’t mean to interrupt you.”

  
     She waved him off. “Don’t apologize it’s fine. I’m glad you’re here.” She was, she liked Finn. He was so good to her. There was no lie in the fact that she cared for him. She just didn’t feel what she knew she should feel being with him. It was entirely her fault and none of his own.

  
     When they’d fled Crait, she’d been haunted and lonely. Ben had retreated into himself and she hadn’t seen nor heard from him for weeks after his battle with Luke. She’s almost believed the bond had been severed. In those weeks she’s turned to Finn for comfort, who’d provided it easily. He’d never really hid his feelings for her, and it was easy to lean on him to ease her own torment. Even when Ben had finally made himself known once again, Rey clung to Finn to rid herself of the residual feelings she felt for him. She told herself it was for the best.

  
     Shaking off her inner musings she asked Finn, “So, is it mealtime already?”

  
     He nodded. “Yeah, the General is asking that everyone come so that she can address us all at once.”

  
     “Address us for what? Has something happened?”

  
     Finn shrugged. “Don’t know, she just asked that everyone get down there.”

  
     That was odd. There hadn’t been any news of late for weeks. Bunkered down in an underground tunnel system located on the deserted planet of Geonosis, the remaining members of the Resistance laid in hiding from Ben’s “New Order.” The tunnels were remnants of lodging quarters built into mineral mines created by the Galactic Empire five years after the conclusion of the Battle of Geonosis, the opening conflict of the Clone Wars. Back then, the Death Star, the legendary killing planet was constructed right here in the planet’s atmosphere. Sometime after the Clone Wars ended however, the Death Star was moved to be finished elsewhere and the planet was sterilized as a precautionary security measure by the Empire. The planet’s native population were wiped out, but the mines remained untouched beneath its surface. General Organa had remembered reading the stories of these mines in archives during the time when they still fought the Empire and thought it was the perfect place to hide the dwindling forces of the Resistance while they regrouped and rebuilt. In five months, they’d not yet been discovered, and were finally starting to regain the numbers that they’d lost.

  
     Rey grabbed her staff, internally wincing for what must have been the thousandth time over the loss of the lightsaber that had been passed to her. Without it’s comforting presence, she felt incomplete and never quite safe. “Well,” Rey said with a grin. “we’d better not keep the general waiting. You know how she gets.”

  
     Finn takes Rey’s hand and leads them down the dim tunnel leading away from the small quarters she’d claimed. Finn’s hand was warm and for a moment she focused on the pleasant sensation touching him brought about. Not the wildfire that touching Ben sparked, but a nice gentle glow that soothed her and brought her peace.

  
     “ _But is gentle really enough to satisfy you?_ ” She heard the whisper creep into her mind through the bond.

  
     “ _Get out of my head. I don’t want you listening in._ ” She angrily thought back at him.

  
     She felt the ghost of Ben’s smile in her mind. “ _Don’t worry, I can only hear and see what you want me to. Even if you don’t realize you’re doing it. Your little Resistance is safe from me, I haven’t discerned a thing about your plans or your location in all this time. If I had I’d have already come to force you to my side, not that you wouldn’t come willingly. Another piece of evidence supporting my theory that you want me here with you._ ”

  
     Rey shook her head forcibly as if to cast him out of her thoughts.

  
     Finn noticed. “Hey, you okay?”

  
     “Yes,” she assured him. “My neck is just stiff from sitting still for so long.”

  
     “You sure do meditate a lot lately. Is that some sort of Jedi thing?” He asked.

  
     She had to keep from groaning aloud. She couldn’t tell him she disappeared to be alone so often because she was always on guard for when Ben might reveal himself again and jeopardize the lie she was barely keeping afloat. Instead she said, “It calms me. Luke meditated all the time. Helped him understand and connect to the Force.” There, that sounded believable.

  
     Finn nodded, trusting everything she said even when he shouldn’t. “That’s cool. I wish I could have gotten to know the old Jedi. The stories people tell... he was incredible.”

  
     Rey laughed. “He was cantankerous and difficult.” She smiled to herself. “..but he was definitely an amazing man.”

  
     Ben took that moment to again butt in, “ _Even though he betrayed me? That’s the justification you give yourself for my darkness is it not? Does that not make him a villain?_ ”

  
     Rey sighed but did not respond to his prodding of her thoughts, instead she focused all her energy on envisioning a steel blast door welding shut inside her mind. Honing in on what it would look and feel like, counting the rivets in the bolts on the doors, until she sensed silence from Ben. This was the only way she could shut him out of her mind, even if it didn’t last as long as she’d like. Blasts, she supposed that meant there was some truth to his theories about her unconsciously allowing him access to her through the bond. She had to work harder to keep him shut out. But did she really want to? She thought to herself. No. Of course she did. She had the Resistance, and she had Finn. She didn’t need more. Or at least that’s what she told herself.

 

[Wildfire Soundtrack ](https://open.spotify.com/user/1288719735/playlist/5YF52cl1jizo5eu2ATAvq9?si=ECVDy9kSQyWGwur3D30KUg)


	2. Chapter 2

“Haunting by Halsey”

     Led by Finn, Rey made her way through the winding tunnels until they came upon an open cavern that was once used for storage of equipment. Now it served as both eating area and meeting place for the members of the Resistance. Poe was seated at a table nearby and waved at the two of them from his chair.

  
     “Hey guys,” he shouted. “saved you both a seat over here.” Rey and Finn grabbed a pack of rations which consisted of cheese (made here in the tunnels from the milk of Gill Goats that were brought in with incoming allies of the Resistance) and a single portion bread. Rey had hoped never to be surviving off the stuff again after leaving Jakku, but she had to admit it made her slightly nostalgic to once again be depending on it. 

  
     They both took seats on the other side of the table from Poe and began to open their ration packs. Poe had seemed to already demolish his cheese and was working on the last bit of his bread as they sat.

  
     “Damn,” he said. “What I wouldn’t give for meat. Do you remember meat? Best thing in the galaxy and you just take it for granted until it’s not there.”

  
     Finn rolled his eyes. “You would have never survived in the First Order. We were only fed a sort of stew composed of only raw protein, greens and minerals. Everything the body needed to be a good slave.”

  
     Poe visibly shuddered. “How grateful are you that I busted you out of that awful place?”

  
     Finn guffawed. “Busted me out? If I remember correctly I’m the one who saved you from Ren’s torture chamber. Good thing too. You looked like you would have cracked at any moment.”

  
     “Me?” Poe exclaimed. “Crack? Never. I’m the strongest man in the Resistance. In mind AND body. Just ask anyone. Especially the ladies.” That last bit he said with a waggle of his eyebrows. How Poe kept his optimism at this point of their dismal existence was a mystery to Rey, but she laughed all the same.

  
     “If I wasn’t so hungry,” Finn said with a shake of his head, “I’d toss my bread at the side of your head. I suspect your skull is too thick to do any real damage anyway though.”

  
     “Strongest body remember?” Poe said with a smile. He turned to me then and said, “So how goes the Jedi training Rey? You spend more time in your room than outside it these days. Learned how to lift my ship with your mind yet?”

  
     Rey smiled softly, trying to contain her guilt. “Doubtful. To wield the Force ones mind must be a fortress of calm and it seems like my mind is always racing. Too many things at stake, too many things that can still go wrong.”

  
     Finn put his hand over hers. “Hey, it’s okay Rey, from what I’ve heard they used to spend years training up potential Jedi. Look how far you’ve come in such a short time. I believe in you.”

  
     She squeezed his hand and mouthed, “Thank you.” Too choked up to properly respond. She knew in her heart that the reason she had hit a stumbling block on her own Jedi training was because her heart was so conflicted. She feared what would become of her future and what choices she would make and who she would hurt in the process. In the way of the Jedi, there is no room for fear, and yet she was riddled with it always.

  
     She attempted to clear her mind of her self doubt and ate in silence while Poe and Finn continued to make small talk. Looking out across the room, she noticed a familiar face scowling at her at a neighboring table. Rose’s recovery after the events of Crait had been a slow one. It had been weeks before she’d been able to leave the med bay. 

  
     Rose continued to give her a hard look for a short time before returning her attention to her food. It had wounded her when Finn hadn’t returned her affections for him, seeking Rey instead. Rose still didn’t think Rey deserved Finn. If only she knew how right she was. 

  
     It wasn’t very long before General Organa made her way into the cavern and addressed the crowd. “My friends,” she started. “I come bearing bad news.”

  
     People all over the crowded room turned to look her way in anxious waiting.

  
     “Last night a small group of scouts in the outlying atmosphere of Geonosis reported seeing a vessel of the New Order coming out of hyperdrive in the Outer Rim of this solar system. It made port on Tatooine.”

  
     Several gasps could be heard around the room, as well as scattered cries of, “But that’s less than a parsec away from Geonosis!”  
The General waved her hands to calm down the crowd. “I know this is troubling but this does not yet mean that discovery is imminent. We have survived here for months undetected. Hiding in almost plain sight, and we have no reason to believe that this lone vessel will signify the end of that.”

  
     Poe spoke up, “Well obviously we need to form a team and investigate what the ship is doing on Tatooine. If it’s a spy for Ren, we just need to kill them and ensure they never have the chance to take back any information.”

  
     Finn nodded. “I agree. We’ve dealt with the traders of Tatooine for resources these last months, and while they have no concrete knowledge of who our people they’ve dealt with actually are, it’s too risky to allow a spy this close to us and survive to make it back to Ren with any information.”

  
     Rey sat quietly. She was afraid to speak up and even more afraid to be called on. She knew that if she left this remote landscape she put herself and everyone she cared about at risk. Being exposed to a telling environment was just sure fire way to give Ben all the information he needed to find her through his vision of their bond, but Poe and Finn were right. They couldn’t risk allowing a possible spy sent by Ben to come this close to them and survive to bring information back to their master. What she didn’t know however, was if she was strong enough to assist them without giving away everything.

  
     “Rey,” the General inevitably called upon her. “What do you think? You’re the only one here who’s personally faced my son in all this since he became Kylo Ren, even sharing a bond with him before Snoke’s death. Is it possible he would send scouts this far from his home base?”

  
     Rey sighed. “Yes.. it’s more than possible. Be.. I mean Kylo was obsessed with Darth Vader. Vader grew up on Tatooine. He knows that place holds meaning to your family, to your shared past. It’s more than just likely that he would send someone to check, it’s inevitable.”

  
     The General nodded in agreement. “Those were my thoughts as well. Poe, you will assemble a team of no more than six men,” she made a pointed look at Rey, “and women, and take your ship to the port of Tatooine to investigate this vessel. Find it’s pilot and ascertain what their purpose in this system is. If you can discern that they know nothing of our whereabouts, allow them to return to my son with a report that this system is empty of the Resistance. However, if you deem them a threat, do not allow them to leave this system alive.” With those words, she turned and left.

  
     Poe turned back to Finn and Rey  in their seats. “Well, obviously we’re going to check this out. I’ll round up Atopti, Porrimal and Chara and start loading the ship. You guys had better go get some rest, we’ll leave at first light.” Poe then left the table and made his way over to a neighboring table to talk to his chosen crew.

  
     Finn turned to Rey, “He’s right. We’d better get some rest. Sounds like tomorrow is going to be a long day. Come on, I’ll walk you back to your quarters.”

  
     Finn and Rey made their way from the cavern and started back down the tunnel that lead to her room. “Do you think there’s any danger to us with the spy?” Finn asked her.  
Rey thought about it a moment. “I don’t think so,” she said. “Our traders have been nothing but careful as to conceal their true identities. They know what’s at stake if they fail and they would never risk it.”

  
     Finn nodded in assent. “Still.. I guess you can never be too careful.”

  
     “ _Yes, you can never let your guard down,” Rey heard creep through her mind. “or else anyone will be able to get to you._ ”

  
     She scowled lightly. She was so focused on the task at hand she had allowed her barriers down and he’d been right there waiting.

  
     “ _Don’t you do anything as the all powerful leader of the New Order?_ ” She sneered at him in her thoughts. “ _Where do you find the time to relentlessly torment me?_ ”

  
     She could almost see his answering smile. “ _I’ll always make time for you... after all, that’s the primary mission of my New Order. They want to find the Resistance, but I just want to find you._ ”

  
     She gasped internally. That’s something he’s never revealed before, not in earnest. “ _Wait.. does that mean.. does that mean if I gave in to you, you’d stop hunting them?_ ”

  
     “ _Unless they get in my way, I don’t care if they live or die. My only quarrel with them is that they’re keeping you a prisoner to your own obligations. You won’t give in to what you really want because you feel you owe them your allegiance. I assure you, you owe them nothing._ ”

  
     Rey was just about to respond when she registered that Finn was speaking to her.

  
     “...but I mean, you don’t have to. It was just an offer! I didn’t mean anything bad by it. I just thought it might put your mind at ease and help you sleep better. You just look so worn down lately like you’re always worried.”

  
     Rey hadn’t the faintest idea what he’d asked her, so she blindly agreed. “No sure, that sounds just fine.”

  
     Finn grinned widely. “Great, I’ll just go change and grab my things and I’ll be right back here in a little bit for bed. I promise not to overstep or anything, don’t worry. I just think maybe sleeping next to someone would help you get more rest.” He leaned over and kissed her lightly then turned and made towards his own bunk to apparently change and grab his things.

  
      In her inner dialogue with Ben she’d completely missed Finn asked to _sleep_ with her. She had kissed Finn many times, even sometimes somewhat heavily, if never to the extent of her time with Ben, but there has always been a line in the sand to the their level of intimacy. He took it as her still feeling the lingering effects of a severed bond with the terrible Kylo Ren that had made her withdraw into herself. He could never guess that it was the very much still tied bond with Ben Solo that kept her from even attempting greater levels of intimacy with him.

  
     Rey was terrified that if she even tried to obtain that level of closeness with Finn that she would lower her guard completely and allow Ben to see everything she’d worked so hard to keep from him. Their whereabouts, their plans, her real feelings.. she shook her head. Not that there were any.

  
     Speaking of, Ben was eerily silent during all this inner monologue. Rey had thought that at a time like this he would have had mountains to say. He never ceased to make his opinions known at any other given moment before.

  
      She walked back inside her quarters and began to ready for bed, assuring herself that Finn had said it was an entirely innocent gesture and that she had nothing to worry about. She even thought that maybe Finn was right, even if he didn’t know about Ben maybe Finn being so near during sleep would anger him enough to stay out of her head and allow her a restful night for once. Ben always seemed to disappear when Finn attempted any level of intimacy with her. It infuriated him. She didn’t know if that excited her or angered her.

  
     Removing the wrappings she kept tightly wound around her forearms, she pulled her outer garments off until she was wearing nothing her underwear and and cloth wrap that bound her breasts.

  
     “So, getting ready for your big night with my second rate substitute _?_ ” She heard from behind her.

  
     She spun quickly, grasping the sheet near her on her bed to cover herself with. “Get out of here.” She snapped.

  
     “Really?” He started with a mirthful gleam in his eyes. “Moments ago it seemed as if you were missing me in my silence.”

  
     She narrowed her eyes. “You were listening.”

  
     He shrugged. “Sometimes it pays to be silent. Especially when it leads me to situations like this.” He eyed her up and down slowly, causing her to clutch the sheet tighter.

  
     “Turn around so I can put on my sleeping shift.” She asked.

  
     He stood steadfast as if he had no intention of fulfilling her request.

  
     “Fine,” she said, dropping the sheet that covered her, causing his eyes to widen. “If you won’t turn around, I’ll just sleep in this, and this is what I’ll be wearing when Finn returns at any moment.”

  
     Ben’s nostrils flared at the thought and he reluctantly turned. “Clever,” he said. “But it’s inevitable that I see all of you. Why continue to hide from me?”

  
     She hastily removed her cloth wrap so that she could pull her night shift over her head as she said, “You can tell yourself that Ben, but I can promise you that you’re wrong. I’ve chosen my partner and he isn’t you.”

  
     She’d no sooner gotten her shift situated when Ben spun on his heel, grabbing her wrist and pulling her flush against him. He wasn’t wearing his normal attire, but only a thin shirt and loose pants- both black of course.

  
     “Oh really? Does he make you feel like this?” As he said this he pressed one of his impossibly large hands flat to her chest, feeling the racing of her heart. With only her shift to cover her, the heel of his hand lightly grazed her nipple and everywhere he touched seemed to be on fire.

  
     Never lifting it from her skin, he slid his palm upwards over her neck and into her hair, still loose from where he’d pulled it down earlier. He pressed his forehead to hers and shifted his pelvis forward into hers. With the attire they were both wearing, the weight of his want for her was easily apparent, she could feel the heat of it against her belly despite of the layers of clothing between them.

  
     Rey’s breath had grown ragged and she opened her mouth to tell him to leave her alone, to go back to where he came from, but she couldn’t make a sound. She could barely breath from the fire that threatened to consume her from the inside.

  
     Ben leaned over to whisper in her ear as she closed her eyes, “He will never make you feel like this.”

  
     As if deja vu, a tentative knock at her door interrupted their moment. “Rey?” She heard Finn call. “It’s me. Open up.”

  
     Her eyes flew open and she found herself suddenly all alone. Ben had once again left her to herself, hot and breathless. She took a moment to center herself and get her breathing under control. She could only hope her skin wasn’t flushed as she opened the door to let Finn in.

  
     “Hey,” he grinned at her. “Ready for a sleepover?”

  
     She allowed herself to smile shakily back, “Absolutely. I was just getting ready for bed.” She climbed into her bunk and scooted over to the wall to allow him room.

  
     As he lifted the bedding to climb in next to her he gave her a pointed look, “Hey Rey.. I meant what I said. I don’t expect anything here. I know the severed bond left you a mess, and I will be as patient as you need me to be. I love you and I just want you to be at peace.”

  
     Rey’s heart thumped with guilt. She loved Finn, she truly did, but the more time she spent with him the more she feared she would never love him as much or even in the same way that he loved her. She didn’t trust herself to respond so she just smiled shyly and nodded.

  
     Finn climbed into bed next to her and laced his fingers through hers. She stared at his face, trying to will herself to feel the same level of need that seemed to spark when Ben was just sitting across the room from her. All she could muster was warm affection. No spark. No wildfire. It frustrated her to no end. Her body was a traitor. She thought perhaps she could force it.

  
     She leaned into Finn to kiss him. He met her eagerly and it was gentle, it was lovely, but it wasn’t enough. She pressed harder, trying to force him to give her more. Finn responded excitedly and swept his tongue into her mouth, while running a hand down the curve of her hip. Still the most Rey felt was pleasant at best. Blasts this was unfair. This was everything she should want.

  
     Moments away from pulling back and telling Finn goodnight, Rey felt another touch at her ankle start to slowly run up the length of her leg. Ben. Her eyes flew open and she yanked her head to look at the spot but Ben was nowhere to be seen. He was everywhere to be felt apparently though.

  
     Finn took her sudden movement as a throe of passion and began to place eager kisses down the side of her neck as she felt Ben’s invisible hands curve towards the inner side of her legs and continue upwards. Though she felt his touch she saw no trace of his form indented under the bedding. How was he doing this?

  
     “ _I’ve been practicing my little Jedi.”_ Rey heard in her mind. “ _Be still now, you wouldn’t want for him to catch on would you?_ ”

  
     Rey bit her tongue so hard she tasted blood as she felt Ben’s hand continue upwards until she felt him gently part her thighs. She knew where this was headed, he had never touched her there in all the times they’d met through the bond. NOW was the time he chose to force his hand?

  
     “ _It seems the time has finally arrived when I have to show you the difference between him and I. So what do you need Rey? His pleasantry or my wildfire? Let’s find out.._ ”

  
     She felt his hand nudge her thighs open as he toyed with the lining of her underwear. No one had ever touched her like this. It was invigorating.

  
     Finn turned her face back towards his to kiss her again, capturing her mouth with his own. As she felt his tongue slide between her teeth, she felt Ben’s fingers slide beneath the hem of her underwear and begin to stroke her slick heat.

  
     Rey moaned into Finn’s mouth, spurring him on and emboldening him to reach between them and palm her breast. Her skin was warmed from Ben’s assault below, and Finn’s touch sent tiny shocks down her already stimulated body.

  
     “ _What you’re feeling Rey? That’s not him. That’s all me. Focus on what I’m doing to you._ ” Ben purred just as he begin trace tiny circle over the hot bud of nerves at the apex of her thighs. He never relented, using his thumb to continue his ministrations to her center while sliding two of his long fingers inside her. She gasped loudly and Finn began to plant kisses down her neck and chest pulling down the material of her shift so that he could continue his path to her breasts.

  
     Just as Ben began to rapidly stroke the inside of Rey’s inner walls, while pumping his fingers in and out in quick succession, Finn took her nipple into his mouth and began to stroke it with his tongue while lightly nipping at it with his teeth.

  
     The sensations were too much for Rey. She couldn’t focus, she could barely breathe for all the feelings that were assaulting her. Just when she thought she couldn’t take it anymore, Ben roughly pulled out his fingers and ground the heel of his palm down into her hot center rubbing deep circles into it over and over. She felt a delicious pressure building as if she held a cataclysm of flood waters inside her just begging to break the dam that was her resolve.

  
     With several more short strokes of his palm, Rey felt herself explode with her orgasm as sparks rained in her vision and blood roared in her ears. She felt her heart beat in every facet of her body. Finn, thinking he’d just brought her to such heights, rested his head against her chest smiling to himself. 

  
     Finn raised up, readjusted her shift properly and pressed a sweet kiss to her jaw before settling his face into the bend of her neck. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I said I didn’t expect anything and then you started kissing me and I got carried away.”

  
     Rey, still rapidly trying to steady her breathing and make sense of what she just experienced, responded breathily, “No, it’s okay. Nothing happened that I didn’t want to happen.” As she looked over Finn’s shoulder, she saw Ben, visible only to her and looking just as breathless as she was, place the same fingers he’d pleasured her with in his mouth and smile as he disappeared to wherever he really was.

  
     Later, just as Rey was about to be lulled to sleep by the sounds of Finn’s steady breathing, she admitted to herself that what she told Finn was indeed true. Nothing had happened tonight that she didn’t want to happen, and as pleasant as Finn was, he would never be her wildfire.

 [Wildfire Soundtrack ](https://open.spotify.com/user/1288719735/playlist/5YF52cl1jizo5eu2ATAvq9?si=ECVDy9kSQyWGwur3D30KUg)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: Halsey’s “Haunting”, (which also happens to be my favorite Halsey song), was the spark that started this whole thing. I was listening to it amidst reading FF and sort of fantasized about Rey being with Finn but Ben sneaks in through the bond to show her how a real man gets it done. It made my perverted little heart very happy. I don’t know what you’re supposed to do with that knowledge.. but there it is.


	3. Chapter 3

“Man or a Monster by Sam Tinnesz/Zayde Wølf ”

     Rey woke suddenly to the feel of a finger tracing a path along her collarbone. She kept her eyes shut and continued to feign sleep. She was not yet ready to face Finn after the confusing events of the previous evening.

  
     She was fully prepared to continue to pretend for a little while longer until she heard a deep voice say, “He’s gone, left almost an hour ago. There’s a sweet little note on your bedside table.”

  
     Her eyes snapped open to find Ben bare chested beside her, laying on his side with his arm bent to allow him to rest his head in his hand. She sat up quickly and scooted as far away from him as the bunk would allow. Unable to tear her eyes from the expanse of his naked skin on display, she managed to ground out, “Get out.” Even if it contained much less conviction than she’d intended.

  
     He used the force of his arms to lean upwards and give chase across the bunk to close the gap between them she was desperately trying to make. “Really? That’s not how you felt last night.”

  
     Rey shook her head. “I had no choice. If I’d reacted Finn would have realized something was wrong. You put me in a corner I couldn’t escape.”

  
     “Did I?” He grinned mischievously. “So that’s how you’re going to play it? You had no choice? What about your little tricks with the mental door? That seems to work for you when you need it to. You didn’t seem to be in any hurry to close the door on me last night.”

  
     Blasts. She hadn’t thought to try it. If she was being honest with herself, she was in no state of mind to even attempt to want to try it. Ben knew this as well, judging by the smug look on his face. He leaned further into her and tugged lightly in a loose tendril of her hair, still wild from sleep.

  
     “Why do you do this to yourself?” He asks, exasperated. “To us? We could be so much, we could do so much.. but you cling to your principles and your pride. Blindly denying the truth that we both know. You want to be with me too.”

  
     Rey held her breath and stared into those soft brown eyes, seeing the plea there. He wanted her, no, needed her to admit that he was right. Underneath all that bravado and surety was still a boy desperate for love. She tentatively reached out and lightly traced the deep scar down the side of his face. The action caused him to lean into her touch and close his eyes, releasing a pent up breath.

  
     “Yes,” she said softly. “I want to be with you too.”

  
     Ben’s eyes snapped open and he reached for her but she held a hand between them, halting him. “But,” she said. “the man I want is not Kylo Ren, this armor you’ve erected around yourself to shut out the world. I want Ben Solo, the person I know still lives inside you. Until I can be sure that Ben is not lost to me, I cannot give myself to you.”

  
     He pulled back from her, standing. “Rey, do not delude yourself with the notion that I am more than I present. This is who I am. Kylo is who I needed to become, and I’ve no want to be anyone else. Accept me, accept us and this will all go so much smoother.”

  
     Ben gave her one last long look and then faded away before her very eyes. Rey hung her head in her hands and fought the urge to cry. Would it always be one step forward and two steps back between them?

  
     Pulling herself together, she stood from her bed and began to dress. She would not allow her emotions to rule her, that would only stifle her connection to the Force more than it already was. At this rate she would never be a great Jedi like Master Luke was. How disappointed would be be in her if he could see her now? If he could see the legacy he’s left behind? 

  
     She tried to put aside those thoughts and focus on more pressing problems. What was she going to say to Finn? Her experience last night showed her in full clarity that she would never have the same intensity and passion with Finn that she experienced with Ben. It wasn’t fair to be with him knowing she could never fully return the feelings he feels. 

  
     How could she break it to him? She knew today was not the day to have this conversation, not with all they had in store for them with the mission to Tatooine. Someday very soon though, she was going to have to end things. He deserved someone who loved him every bit as fiercely as he loved them. 

  
     Finally dressed, Rey grabbed her staff and headed out the door of her quarters, finally resolving to find the others. Neither Poe nor Finn were in the main cavern, so she assumed they must have already made their way to the upper level where the ships were kept in the mouth of a large cave mouth leading out to the surface of Geonosis. 

  
     Sure enough, Poe, Finn and the rest of the crew were loading equipment onto Poe’s small starship. Upon noticing her, Finn turned to shoot a shy smile her way. He was obviously having a much better time dealing with what had happened last night. Why wouldn’t he? As far as he knew they’d shared a moment that had only brought them closer together. 

  
     Forcing herself to return his smile, she turned to Poe, “Everything ready to go?”  
Poe scratched the back of his head while looking his ship up and down, going over a mental checklist. He whistled through his teeth and said, “Yeah I think so. If there’s something out there we aren’t prepared for then at this point it deserves to bury us. I’ve got everything I can think of that we might need loaded down in there.”

  
     Finn grimaced. “Stars, Poe that’s dark.”

  
     Poe shrugs in response. “Space is dark friend, you just have to rise to meet it.”

  
     Finn shoved him playfully, “That sounded pretty smart coming from you.”

  
     “Coming from me? Do I need to go over again how much of an asset I am? I don’t mind, it just seems like you’d remember by now.” 

  
     “Boys,” Rey interjected. “How about we all pile onto the ship and we can continue this lovers spat on the way.”

  
     Aboard the ship, Chara was running diagnostics in the hold while Atopti and Porrimal were arguing over the functionality of the ships hyperdrive. Apparently on a scouting mission recently it had malfunctioned and almost landed them in hot water, but Porrimal swears he’d repaired it since. 

  
     Atopti was a male Zabrak, a sentient humanoid with small horns protruding from their heads, who’s people hailed from the planet Iridonia, while Porrimal, a male Cantrosian. Cantrosians were sapient felines indigenous to Cantros 7. Normally, the Zabrak race is a proud, independent people who tend to stick to themselves. However, years earlier Atopti had found himself at the wrong end of a bounty hunter’s blaster, and Porrimal was the only reason Atopti had made it out alive. Apparently they had been friends ever since. 

  
     Rey walked back towards the hold to place her staff among the other weapons. Chara looked up from her charts and gave her a brief nod. Chara didn’t say much, but she was a hell of a copilot, according to Poe. 

  
     “Hello Chara,” Rey started. “Is BB-8 back here? It seems like I haven’t seen him in days..”

  
     Chara pushed her long blonde tresses out of her face. She was human, just like Rey. She was also stunning, around Rey’s height but much curvier where Rey was slender. Her eyes were a brilliant blue and she had a light dusting of freckles across her pale nose. Rey often found herself slightly jealous of her effortless beauty. 

  
     “He’s still in the shop. Falling from the ships hold during a landing seems to have scrambled his directional senses. He just rolls in a continual circle, unable to change direction. Poe has been to visit him every day.” With that last bit Chara’s faze flicks over to where Poe is settling into the cockpit.

  
     It’s been a suspicion of Rey’s for some time now that there are feelings shared between Chara and Poe. At the very least on Chara’s end, although despite Poe’s flippant comments about his womanizing, Rey has noticed too many small instances that suggest Poe might return a bit of the beautiful blonde’s affection. 

  
     “That’s too bad, I miss the little guy.” Rey replied.

  
     Chara nodded and then returned to her charts. Rey stashed her staff nearby and then returned to the main area of the ship to seat herself across Finn. He was sitting on the opposite bench, and looked up at her when she took her seat.

  
     “Hey,” he started somewhat nervously. “How do you feel this morning?

  
     An innocent question, but Rey knew he was really asking if she was okay with what happened between them the night before. She was okay with it, just not in the way he hoped. She forced a soft smile. “Yes, I slept really well. I feel very rested today.”

  
     “Excellent. Maybe we should try sleepovers more often..” He looked at her hopefully as he trailed off. 

  
     Knowing now wasn’t the time to open that can of worms, so Rey simply shrugged in a noncommittal way. 

  
     “What’s this about a sleepover?” Poe turned fully around in his pilots seat to butt into their conversation. “Please, do tell.”

  
      Finn rolled his eyes. “Mind your business.”

  
     Poe laughed loudly. “Just interested in the lives of my favorite couple.”

  
     Rey was growing exasperated. “How about we focus on the mission and not our love life? This won’t be a picnic. This could go very badly.”

  
     Poe nodded thoughtfully. “Don’t worry woman, I won’t let anything bad happen to you. Evil fears my name.”

  
     Rey shook her head as Chara walked back towards them to announce they were ready to go. Atopti seated himself next to Finn while Porrimal hopped up onto the seat next to Rey. Chara settled into the copilots seat next to Poe.

  
     Poe turned to Chara, “Everything set?”

  
     Chara nodded and strapped herself in. Poe began to flip switches as the ship buzzed to life. It was mere moments later that Rey felt them rise into the air and slowly spin towards the entrance to their makeshift hangar.

     “Alright,” Poe said. “Here we go, everyone hold on.”

  
     With that, the ship flashed forward, leaving the caves entrance and pushing upwards towards the atmosphere. Rey watched the expanse of the wasteland planet speed beneath her from the small window of the ship. She wondered idly what it might have looked like before it had been cleansed by the Empire. 

  
     As the ship began to pierce the ozone of the planet it shook slightly, causing Rey to grip her harness while she waited for them to break through the atmosphere of Geonosis. Once the ship leveled out, everything was calm and there was nothing around them but the darkness of space. Poe pushed the ship into a higher speed and turned to the direction of Tatooine. 

  
     “I’m about to take us into hyperspace, and on the assumption Porrimal is as handy as he says he is,” Poe said, gaining a huff from Atopti and a low growl from Porrimal, “we’ll be entering Tatooine’s orbit in around an hour. Cross your fingers guys.”

  
     He flipped two red switches above him and pushed a heavy lever downwards that was located to his right. As he did this, the ship lurched forward into the brilliant blue slip stream that was hyperspace. Rey would never get used to seeing it. Growing up in the desert, everything she discovered in this wide galaxy seemed to amaze her. She didn’t supposed she’d ever grow tired of all the new discoveries it held. 

  
     Rey turned to Finn, “I’m going to rest my eyes, meditate for a bit. Wake me when we’re close.” With that, she closed her eyes, partly to avoid any more conversation about the events of last night, and partly to do exactly what she said. She wanted her mind clear for the mission ahead. 

  
     She imagined herself atop the mountain of Ach-To. Once more perched on a ledge as she’d been during her time there with Luke. She saw the sights in her minds eyes, heard the sounds of the ocean and willed herself to be at peace. It was only moments later that she heard the shuffling of heavy footsteps behind her. “So this is where he hid all those years. How great must his guilt have been to isolate himself in such a place.”

  
     Rey did not turn to look at Ben, she merely remained where she was with her eyes lightly closed. 

  
     “So where is the little Jedi off to today? I sense you’re traveling, but you’re working very hard to keep me from gaining more details.” He pressed. Still, Rey remained silent.

  
     “The silent treatment? Is that the game we play today? Alright. Words are an unnecessary frivolousness anyway.” 

  
     Rey suddenly felt his presence directly behind her as Ben fell to his knees and enveloped her between them. This was all happening in her mind, but she felt the warmth of his body pressed to her back as if they were both actually there on Ach-To. 

  
     Ben pressed his nose to the bend of her neck and inhaled deeply. Mirroring her thoughts he said, “I can almost imagine we’re actually here..” 

  
     His hands snaked around and grasped her waist as he pulled her back closer to his front. “Is Finn there with you? Have you told him yet that last night had nothing to do with him?” He breathed into her ear.

  
     She finally spoke, grounding out a, “No.” Her eyes finally opened. “Finn will never know.”

  
     Ben chuckled. “He will find out eventually, especially if you continue to let him in your bed. Every time you try to settle for his _pleasantries_ ,” he spat out the word, “I will be there to remind you of the wildfire you deserve. He will never be enough.”

  
     Rey sighed deeply, “I know.”

  
     Ben growled and turned her around to face him. “If you _know_ then why continue this farce of a relationship? It’s pointless and it does nothing but anger me.”

  
     Rey scoffed. “Not that I _care_  if it angers you. I’ve already decided very soon I will have to come clean about the futility of our relationship. It’s not fair to Finn, and he deserves more.”

  
     Ben shook his head. “He deserves nothing, especially not you.”

  
     “That doesn’t mean you deserve me either Ben.” She responded quietly.

  
     He smiled but there was no humor in it. “ _Ben_. Still looking for _Ben_. I thought we discussed this this morning? Stop looking for some magical ending Rey. There’s just you, and me, and the future that we’re destined to have. We will bring order to this galaxy by any means necessary. I need you Rey, I need you by my side to bring on the New Order this galaxy desperately needs.”

  
     “But how many people will fall victim to your New Order? What future can we have in a New Order of slaves? I want to live in a world that is free from oppression. Yours is not the way, _Kylo_.”

  
     Ben curled his lip in a slight sneer at her forceful omission of his chosen name. Rey noticed. “What? That’s what you want isn’t it? That’s who you want to be, is it not? _Kylo_?”  
He said nothing, so she continued. “See? It’s not. You don’t like hearing the word from my mouth because deep down you know it’s not who you are.”

  
     He stood suddenly, turning away from her. “I know who I am Rey, I just wish you did.”

  
     She rose to meet him, turning him back towards her, pressing a hand to his cheek. “I know who you are too Ben, and one day soon,” she whispered, echoing his words from the day before, “you’ll embrace it without fear. I’ll be right here waiting.”

  
     Suddenly Rey found herself being roused by Finn back in the ship. “Hey,” he said, “you were starting to look like you were having a rough dream. Your face looked all contorted. Thought it might be a good idea to wake you up.”

  
     Rey looked outside the small window and noticed they had come out of hyperdrive saying, “Are we there yet?” 

  
     Poe turned around in his seat. “Sure are. There it is, childhood home of Darth Vader himself.”

  
     A large desert planet rose into view from the hull of the ship. Rey had not yet seen it in person. She felt a sense of anxiousness at being so near it. This was the home of Ben’s grandfather. This is where one might say their entire story started. 

  
     She whispered the word under her breath, “ _Tatooine_.”

 

 [Wildfire Soundtrack](https://open.spotify.com/user/1288719735/playlist/5YF52cl1jizo5eu2ATAvq9?si=ECVDy9kSQyWGwur3D30KUgW)


	4. Chapter 4

“Let Me Touch Your Fire by ARIZONA”

     They made port on the outskirts of Mos Eisley, landing their ship in a small ravine of rising rock bed in the hopes that no one would happen upon it accidentally. Their best bet in this endeavor was to remain as unseen as possible. Poe unclasped his harness and exited the cockpit, clapping Porrimal on the shoulder as he walked by. “Nice work there kitty, the hyperdrive worked like a dream.”

  
     Porrimal hissed. “Of course it did, I told you I fixed it. Also, call me kitty again and I’ll scratch out your eyes.”

  
     Poe laughed. “Feisty. I like it. I need you and Chara to stay behind with the ship. Atopti, you’re with us, so grab a blaster.”

  
     Chara cocked her head to the side and narrowed her eyes. “I didn’t come to simply stay behind on the ship, Dameron.”

  
     Poe didn’t look at her, but laughed over his shoulder, “Easy tiger, we need a quick route of escape and my mechanic and my copilot are who I want at the ready in case we need a rescue.”

  
     Satisfied, but still disgruntled, Chara simply nodded and settled into Poe’s captain’s chair. Porrimal climbed up front to sit beside her. He turned to Chara, “If you pet me again like a house cat I’ll bite you.”

  
     Chara grinned down at his small frame, making a little purring noise with her tongue that made Porrimal scowl. “What a grumpy cat you are, Porr.” 

  
     Finn, unstrapped from his seat, was back in the hold attached a spare blaster to the harness on his pants. He handed Rey her staff from its place. “Thanks.” She told him. 

  
     “No problem. Are you sure you’re okay? You’ve been so quiet today.”

  
     She waved him off. “I’m fine, it’s just being so close to someone in the Order. It brings back memories of being captured.” _Of the time when she was close enough to touch Ben_. She thought to herself. She quickly brushed that thought away.

  
     “Ah,” Finn replied. “I didn’t even think. Maybe you’d like to stay with Chara and Porrimal?”

  
     “Of course not.” She scoffed. “I came to help.”

  
     “I know,” he replied. “But there’s no reason to put yourself through unnecessary strain.” 

  
     She felt a prick at her mind and heard a faint whisper, “ _He would keep you caged when I would let you fly.._ ”

  
     No. She can’t let her guard down. Not here. She quickly slammed down the mental blast door, closing Ben off from her mind. 

  
     “Finn I’m really okay, I wouldn’t put myself through anything I couldn’t handle. Trust me.”

  
     Finn nodded. “You’re right. I’m sorry I just worry about you.”

  
     “You worry too much. I’m perfectly capable of handling myself.” She said slightly irritated. 

  
     “Hey,” he said grabbing her arm gently, “I know that. I know, but just because you’re some powerful Jedi now doesn’t stop me from caring.”

  
     She sighed internally. That should make her swoon. Should. “I know Finn. I appreciate it.” She smiled at him. She was getting so good at pretending. 

  
     The four of them made their way outside the ship and across the sand. Mos Eisley was a good half miles walk across the hot desert, but they couldn’t risk being seen landing so close to the main port. 

  
     “So what’s our plan?” Finn asked.

  
     “Locate the New Order ship, and track it’s pilot.” Poe said. “Simple as that.”

  
     “..and when we find him?” Atopti interjected quietly.

  
     “Ascertain if there is a threat. The General believes if we can assure that there is no danger to our discovery, it would be better to allow the spy to return to Ren with an empty report. He’d not need to check here again, at least for a while. Sort of a no news is good news scenario. For us at least.” Poe replied.

  
    “We must use extreme caution,” Rey interjected. “Kylo won’t have just sent anyone, whoever the spy is will be formidable.”  
Finn nods. “Trust the overgrown bat to be thorough.”

  
     Rey snapped her head in his direction, catching herself. Her first instinct was to jump to Ben’s defense. Stars, what trouble that would have caused. This was becoming a problem. 

  
     Approaching the main port, they’d donned their disguises of muslin robes, cover their faces with matching hoods that covered the lower portions of their faces. Poe turned to Atopti, “Your uh, your horns are showing.”

  
     Sure enough, the thin material had snagged on one of the sharp points of his skull. “Might be careful to mind that friend.” Poe said. “The last time a Zabrak came to Tatooine, he was after Anakin Skywalker.”

  
     Atopti scoffed. “Don’t remind me of that disgrace to my people. We don’t speak of Maul.”

  
     It was easy to forget that such a powerful Sith apprentice shared the same homeland to someone as quiet and fair as Atopti. 

  
     “Alright guys,” Finn said. “No real names from this point on. I’m Pagti, Poe is Marza, Atopti is Valan and Rey is Nali. Commit them to memory.”

  
     Mos Eisley was bustling for such a desert city. Everywhere you looked were various bazaar stands and people crowded the streets between the adobe style huts that littered every corner of the city. A familiar creature shuffled past them, causing Rey to start. 

  
     She shook Finn’s arm gently. “Fi.. Pagti! That’s a Hutt. An actually Hutt!”

  
     “Shhhh,” he responded. “You don’t want him to hear you and get offended. He’ll have you locked up somewhere in a dungeon faster than you can say, ‘pod race’.” 

  
     Rey quickly shifted her attention away from the massive figure the Hutt cut as he walked down the path. Her eyes scanned the crowds for any telltale signs of the distinctive black uniforms worn by Ben’s New Order lackeys. A thought occurred to her, “Uh, Marza? Do we have any clues as to what we’re even looking for? It just occurred to me a spy won’t be dressed in normal New Order attire. He’ll be in disguise just like us.”

  
     Poe nodded back at her. “I’ve reached out to a few of my contacts here and learned he’s staying near the center of the city in an inn there. He was seen yesterday evening asking questions in the Cantina.”

  
     Atopti asked, “How well do you the trust this contact of yours? They could be leading us into a trap.”

  
     Poe shook his head. “They have no idea who I am, they think I’m a merchant and that I just have a fear of the New Order commandeering my supplies. I don’t think we have anything to worry about.”

  
     They continued onwards through the busy streets, passing shops selling strange items from all over the galaxy, and an array of creatures and humanoids that Rey had never seen before. The galaxy was just so big. She might never see all it had to offer. She kept close to the others, most people who found their way to Tatooine weren’t the type of people you wanted to make friends with. 

  
     It wasn’t very long before they came upon a large central square with a structure made entirely of sandstone. A wide wooden sign with faded paint hung above an open air entrance, it had something written on it in an alien language Rey didn’t understand. 

  
     “That’s the inn. The Cantina is across the square over there.” Poe said, pointing to a small rounded building that was only slightly larger than the adobe homes they’d passed. “Valan and I will go talk to the innkeeper and see if we can gain any intel on his whereabouts. You two go get a drink at the Cantina and lay low. Keep your eyes and ears open for anything suspicious.”

  
     Finn grabbed Rey’s hand and led her in the direction of the Cantina. After all of Rey’s recent revelations, Finn’s hand felt wrong in hers. It was like once she realized the truth of her feelings and the limitations of them in regards to him, she couldn’t feel right as long as Finn was in the dark. 

  
     She forced herself to act as if she normally would, reminding herself that this was not the place. She let Finn lead her to the small structure and was instantly hit by boisterous sounds of music. A band was playing a lively tune from instruments composed of horns, drums and varying sized bells. There were patrons of all kinds inside the Cantina. Most of them were very formidable and hard looking, some were downright scary. Rey held close to Finn, not wanting to bump into someone that might respond with violence. They needed to keep a low profile.

  
     Finn helped Rey into a low booth with dim light coming an old lamp hanging just above it. He told her he would be right back and pushed his way to the bar to order them drinks. Rey scanned the room but saw no one that immediately stood out to her, just the hardened mercenary types that looked like they were regulars. 

  
     Across the room, her eyes connected with a large figure tucked away in the far corner of the Cantina. The light was so dim she couldn’t make out any features, it could be a man or a woman for all she knew. She guessed man because of the massive size of them, but in this area she supposed it could also be the latter. 

  
    The figure was dressed entirely in deep brown robes with a deep hood covering their face, she couldn’t even make out a face at all, assuming that like her they must have it covered. The only reason this person drew her attention at all, is because from where she was sitting they seemed to be staring straight at her. This unnerved her enough for her to reach up and check to make sure her face was still covered, but she found that her disguise was still in place. 

  
     Finn reappeared then, carrying two tankards of a dark liquid. “Whatever you do, just don’t smell it as you swallow.” He said. 

  
     Rey wrinkled her nose at the murky beverage and took a tentative sip. She immediately sputtered and coughed as the liquid burned its way down her throat. “What even is this? Engine fuel?” Rey asked.

  
     “Trust me, you don’t want to know.” Finn replied. “See anything of note?”

  
     “Actually I think there’s someone watching me.” 

  
     Finn perked up. “Where?”

  
     Rey shifted her gaze nonchalantly towards where the stranger was sitting. “Right over..” They we’re gone. The corner was now empty. “They were right over there sitting in the corner. They’ve left now. Maybe I was just imagining it.”

  
     Finn’s gaze darted around the room. “What did they look like?”

  
     Rey shook her head. “I couldn’t see them clearly, they were wearing dark robes with a hood and their face was covered. It was probably nothing. If they were watching us surely they wouldn’t have left this soon.”

  
     “Unless they thought you were on to them.” He pointed out.

  
     “It’s possible. We’ll keep an eye out for them.” She replied. 

  
     Moments later Poe and Atopti entered the Cantina and upon seeing them made their way over to where Rey and Finn were sitting. Poe slid into the seat next to Rey and Atopti the opposite. “Well,” Poe started. “The innkeeper hasn’t seen anyone that stands out as New Order in the past few days. My source assured me that they’re staying there though, so they’re probably keeping a low profile. You guys see anyone sniffing around in here?”

  
     Finn spoke up first, “Nali thinks someone was watching her while I got us drinks but they were gone by the time I got back to the table.”

  
     Poe turned towards her saying, “What did they look like?”

  
     Rey shrugged. “Couldn’t tell. Their face was covered.”

  
     Poe scratched his head, thinking. “Could be nothing, but if you see them again be sure to point them out. I guess while we’re here we could have a drink at least.”

  
     “Don’t bother,” Rey said. “It tastes like bantha fodder.”

  
     Poe laughed. “Just because it doesn’t please your delicate sensibilities..” He grabbed her cup and took a long draught. After putting it down he grimaced and stuck his tongue out.

   
     Rey smirked. “Told you so.”

  
     Finn and Atopti started laughing as Poe attempted to take another drink to prove a point. He finished it in one go and noticeably shuddered afterwards. “See? That’s just fine.”

  
     Rey rolled her eyes at him. “So what’s the plan now?” She asked.

  
     “We should probably get a room at the inn where the spy was spotted. Start fresh in the morning. It’s getting late now.” Finn replied. 

  
     Exiting the Cantina, the four of them made their way across the square to check into the inn. Poe turned to the group and said, “This place isn’t anything fancy. We’ll probably all be in straw beds in one room.” He shoots a playful look to Finn and Rey. “Sorry, lovebirds.” This causes the pair of them to roll their eyes simultaneously. 

  
     Poe pays for their room and the four of them head up a flight of stairs to find their room on the second floor. Sure enough, the room consisted of two hanging lamps, a set of drawers in one corner, a small lavatory off the right wall, and four straw beds placed on the back wall of the room. Atopti immediately removes his disguise and rubs the horns protruding from his head.

  
     “That material is terrible. It feels very odd against my head.” He said.

  
     Poe yanks off his hood as well. “Well I don’t have horns or anything but it wasn’t pleasant for me either. Stuff itches.”

  
     Finn and Rey followed suit and remove their disguises as well. Rey excuses herself to the lavatory and uses a rag from the wash bin to wipe the sweat from her brow caused by being bound up in her hood all day. Finn follows her in and shuts the door behind him. 

  
     “Hey, I hate to keep nagging you, but you’ve just been so distant today. Are you sure nothing is bothering you?” He asked.

  
     “No Finn, I told you I’m fine.” 

  
     “Yet every time you say that you won’t even look at me.” He said. “Did we take things to far last night? Is that it? You regret it don’t you? I knew I shouldn’t have pushed so hard.” He hung his head.

  
     Rey faced him. “Listen, you didn’t do anything wrong. This is on me Finn, not you.”

  
     “So you are regretting it.” He said wearily.

   
     She sighed deeply. “I really don’t think this is the time or the place to be having this conversation.”

  
     “You’re right,” he replied. “It’s just, every bit of ground we’ve gained it seems like I’ve been the only one to fighting for it. Sometimes I feel like you’re just going through the motions. Then last night.. I thought maybe we’d made some progress.”

  
     “It’s not that you’re in this alone Finn, it’s just..” She trailed off. “Look, can’t we talk about this when we get back to Geonosis?”  
Finn got noticeably angry at her attempting to brush off the conversation yet again. “Just say what you want to say Rey. I’m not a child, I can handle whatever is bothering you. Stop being a coward and just say it.” 

  
     Rey bristled at his tone. “Fine. I regret it. Is that what you want to hear? Are you satisfied? I’m afraid that I’ll never be able to feel for you the way you feel for me and it’s killing me. You’re wonderful Finn. You deserve someone who can give you everything.”

  
     He huffed loudly. “You could give me everything but you don’t even try. You’ve been closed off since that day at Crait, and no matter much anyone tries to draw you back out, you just shut them out. It’s like that damn bond with that bastard Ren ruined you.”

  
     Rey stared at him, not saying anything. Blood pounded in her ears. “I need some air. I’m leaving for a little while. Don’t follow me.”

  
     Finn laughed humorlessly. “Sure, run away from your feelings. That’s what you do best.”

  
     Rey stormed past him, wrenching open the door and grabbing her disguise to put it back on. Poe and Atopti are sitting on their beds looking contrite. Rey knows they heard part or all of the conversation that just took place and she glares at them, daring them to say something. They both look like they’d rather be anywhere but here right now. She knows the feeling.

  
     Her robes and hood back in place, she exited the room and heads back downstairs towards the entrance. She doesn’t even know where’s she’s going, she just knows she needs to get away from Finn right now. That was not the way she wanted to handle that conversation, but his words struck a nerve and made her angry. More so at herself than him. Finn was absolutely right. She had shut herself off from him and many others who would have tried to draw her out of her isolated behavior these past few months. How could she tell him though that it was because the bond that should have severed was still very much in place? That the very bastard Finn spoke of was still with her every day? Tempting her, tormenting her day in and out. 

  
     Speaking of Ben.. it was unusual for him to be silent this long, even with her mental blocks in place he always seemed to be waiting just on the other side to break through at the faintest drop of her guard. She tested the blast door in her mind and it was still sealed air tight. Perhaps he was finally doing something as Surpreme Leader instead of wasting his time on her. 

  
     Across the courtyard, Rey caught a glimpse of a familiar figure. The person she’d seen in the Cantina who she’d believed to be watching her was turning down an alleyway about two hundred yards from her. Glancing around, she didn’t see anyone that seemed to notice her, so she calmly walked in the direction of the alleyway she’d just seen this person go. 

  
     She rounded the corner just in time to see the figure turn right at the next junction. She quietly followed them to the next junction and when she rounded the corner she saw the figure approach a door cut into the sandstone. Someone on the other side opened it, and two small children ran out, grasping at the legs of the mysterious figure. The figure pulled down their hood to reveal a man. Just a normal man in normal desert attire. 

  
     “Well that’s a dead end.” Rey muttered to herself. At that very moment, she felt the hairs on her arms stand up. She turned behind her, feeling as if someone was there, but saw no one. She quickly began to make her way back from where she came. As she rounded the first corner junction that led her out, she felt a presence once more behind her. Turning quickly, she again found no one there. Was her mind playing tricks on her?

  
     Before she could turn back around and continue on, she felt the barrel of a blaster settle into her back. Her blood ran cold. She was alone here with no weapon, as she’d left her staff in the room, forgetting it as she’d stormed out. 

  
     “Who are you?” She asked. “Are you a spy?”

  
     A gravelly voice answered, “No, dirty scavenger, but for the right price I do make deliveries.” 

  
     With that, he blasted a cloud of powder into her face that immediately made her eyes grow heavy and her limbs lock up. She slumped to the ground and felt herself fading into the dark. The last thing she remembered before passing out was the thought that she didn’t even get to tell Ben goodbye. How ironic that he would be her last regret. Her eyes closed fully and she gave in to the darkness. 

 

 [Wildfire Soundtrack](https://open.spotify.com/user/1288719735/playlist/5YF52cl1jizo5eu2ATAvq9?si=ECVDy9kSQyWGwur3D30KUg)


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> #blush

“Can You Hold Me by NF, Britt Nicole”

     Rey woke from a dreamless sleep, feeling as if she’d been run over by a star destroyer. Although she was conscious, her eyes felt heavy and her body was still weak. She felt something soft beneath her, definitely not the bottom of a prison cell somewhere. She tested her limbs for movement, but even turning her head proved difficult. Peeking through her lashes, she found even the soft light of the room she was being held in hurt her eyes. She wasn’t sure what her captor had used to knock her out, but it was definitely some potent stuff.

  
     She felt fingers run through her hair. “That will wear off soon I’m told. Try to lay still for awhile.”

  
     She went still. She knew the moment she’d been trapped by the bounty hunter that she would either wind up dead or right here with him, but she had had no time to prepare herself to face him after all these months. The bond was one thing, but it was like touching through a thin cloth. Feeling, but never as potent as actually being there. 

  
     “I know you’re awake. I can sense you remember?” He said softly.

  
      There was no use pretending, so she didn’t. She had yet to open her eyes, afraid to look at him. Afraid of whether she would be angry, or relieved at what he had done. “How.” That was all she could manage to say with the after effects of the drug still running its course. Through the bond she asked, “ _How did you find me? How did you manage my capture?_ ”

  
     He sighed deeply. “You’re not going to like my answer.”

  
     “ _I still deserve to know._ ” She responded.

  
     “Rey... Weeks ago, I noticed that even after you’d put up your mental blocks to ward against me, I could still sense some things. I’d catch words, phrases, glimpses of your surroundings.. I decided to test your walls. See if I could break through them quietly, without you realizing.”

  
     She opened her eyes then. He was just as he always was, his dark hair curling slightly at the nape of his neck, the scar she’d given him glaring at her from the right side of his face, his eyes focused and determined and only on her. Yet.. being this closed to him made him feel more real. He seemed to have more presence than usual. 

  
     “When.” She whispered.

  
     “Two days before I sent the bounty hunter to Tatooine with instructions to make himself seen by your Resistance fighters.” 

  
     “ _Why Tatooine? Why not storm our base and just wipe them out? Kill two birds with one stone?_ ” She asked in her mind.

  
     He looked at her long and hard before quietly responding, “Because that would have made you unhappy.”

  
     “ _Since when has that mattered?_ ” She huffed.

  
     Ben smiled and shook his head. “Oh Rey.. it’s always mattered. How can you not see that?”

  
     She felt her eyes growing heavy once more and they started to drift close. Ben leaned over and pressed his lips to her temple. “I won’t say I’m sorry for what I did, because I’m not. I will however tell you everything once you’ve recovered and you can decide then if you hate me for it. Sleep now.”

  
     Rey lost herself again to the darkness.

*

     When she next awoke, Rey found herself able to sit up. The room was dim, with the only light coming from a single lamp in the corner on a sleek metal desk. She was lying in what she assumed was Ben’s bed. Dark sheets covered a large bed that sat atop a sleek metal frame. Besides the desk and the bed, there were no other personal effects that she could see lying about the room. 

  
     A large door was on the East wall, and she assumed that was the exit. No use trying that, she would just be caught. A smaller door lay to the North wall, and she hoped that was the bathroom. She stood on still shaky legs and carefully made her way to it. It was indeed a small bathroom with more chrome than she’d ever seen. Ben sure had a taste for monochromatic. 

  
     She relieved herself quickly, and after washing her hands under the spout, she assessed herself in the mirror above the basin. Her hair was loose and wild from sleep, but her face looked free of any bruises or signs of abuse. After a quick scan of the rest of her body she concluded that she had not been harmed in her capture, merely drugged beyond imagining. 

  
     She noticed then that she was wearing new robes made entirely of black. She wasn’t surprised, but she was a little irritated at the thought of Ben dressing her while she was unconscious. 

  
     As if summoned by her thoughts, she heard the main door to the bedroom open in the other room at that moment. Blast this bond that allowed him to know her every move and thought if he wished it. To his credit, he didn’t immediately barge into the bathroom where she was hiding, but patiently waited in the other room for her to finish and come out to face him. 

  
     Steeling herself, she exited the bathroom to find him sitting on the edge of his bed. “How are you feeling?” He asked.

  
     “Like I was drugged and kidnapped.” She replied testily.

  
     Ben sighed. “It was necessary”

  
     “Necessary to you maybe, certainly not necessary to me.” She snapped back.

  
     “Not true, you were chained to your obligations. I freed you of them.”

  
     “What you did is rob me of my free will. Why not just come to Tatooine yourself? I would have listened to you.” 

  
     He shook his head. “Perhaps, but I know you. Your need to not disappoint others would have won out in the end. You’d have chosen them over me, even if you didn’t want to.”

  
     Rey couldn’t deny the fact that what he said sounded exactly like something she’d have done. She leaned against the desk, not yet ready to cross the distance of the room and close the gap between them. “So, you set a trap for me.”

  
     He furrowed his brow in irritation. “I wouldn’t so much call it a trap.. more like an opportunity.”

  
     “For me or for you?” She replied.

  
     “Both.” He immediately responded.

  
     “I bet you had a nice laugh at me, here I was thinking I was so capable to have kept you out when I really want to. All the while the all powerful Supreme Leader was just lying in wait to show me how weak I really am.” She said irritably. 

  
     He ran his hand through his hair nervously. Taking a deep breath, the words just began to pour from his mouth.  “It’s not like that. Rey, you don’t know what watching you walk away from me in the throne room did to me. I’ve never.. I haven’t.. I don’t.. want things. Since the day I woke to Luke standing over me in that tent.. lightsaber at the ready, staring down at me as if I were a monster... the man I was died that day Rey. Who I am? Who I became? I did to survive. Every bit of good, of light, of love inside me faded to nothing and all I’ve had to cling to all this time is hate. My own _father_  fell victim to the blind rage that lived inside me. I have to live with that _every day_. I hated Luke for betraying me, I hated my parents for abandoning me to him, and then came you. Oh, how I hated you. You were everything I could have been. You were good and strong and everyone looked at you with hope and promise. A scavenger nobody from Jakku and you were a thousand times more than I could ever be. I felt your power that day I captured you and it terrified me. So pure and full of promise. I hated you... but stars.. you were so beautiful. You never left my thoughts after that day. Such strong feelings that I never knew whether I wanted you dead or if I just wanted you. Then that day in the throne room.. when Snoke was hurting you.. torturing you.. something inside me snapped. I knew that no one would ever hurt you again as long as I lived because I wouldn’t allow it. Every bit of emotion that I locked away that day Luke betrayed me came gushing out of me with so much force I couldn’t contain it. For the first time in so long.. I felt like Ben Solo again. Not Kylo... just Ben. It terrified me, it _freed_ me. I thought you felt the same. We fought together. You _protected_ me even though you had no reason to. Then.. then you just.. you walked away. You left me. Suddenly I was right back in that tent, watching Luke contemplate whether I should live or die. I saw my short lived hope start to wither and die right before me eyes. I felt myself sinking back into the darkness. I hated you then. I felt rage like I’d never felt before. So I followed you, I tried to destroy even the mere memory of you... but when it came down to it... I couldn’t. In that moment.. I didn’t feel angry.. I just felt.. despair. Despair that I would never be good enough for you. That I had done too much and lost too much of myself. I thought you were lost to me. Then I saw you, as if you were right there with me. Somehow, the bond survived. Did that mean we were somehow meant to be connected? I knew then that no matter what it took, I would do whatever I had to do to make you see that you belong with me. No matter how long it took. I waited patiently for signs that you wanted to be with me, that you would choose me. Then you told me everything I wanted to hear. With one stipulation, that Ben was not lost to you. It hit me all at once, the simple fact is.. Ben only lives where you are Rey. Without you I am Kylo, and I will always be Kylo. When you’re with me though... I feel like that person I used to be isn’t completely gone. So here we are. I selfishly robbed you of the choice believing that if you had no obligations this would be the one you made. Now you’re here... and everyone can blame me. You’re free of guilt. So.. that’s everything. That’s the entire truth, and that’s what I feel. What you choose to do with that information is entirely up to you.”

  
     Rey was speechless. Never in a million light years would she have ever expected all of these feelings to be living inside him. Her chest was filled a raging storm of emotions. She was exhilarated, she was terrified, she was confused. What did this mean for her future? Was it really okay to turn her back on the entire force of the Resistance just to follow her own selfish heart? What of Ben? Would he continue on his dark path to enslave the free galaxy or could he be persuaded to reach a more peaceful end? The rush of thoughts made her head hurt. 

  
     Ben laughed softly. “I see your head ready to explode with worry already.”

  
     “That’s...” she started. “that’s a lot of information.”

  
     “You wanted to know everything,” he replied. “Now you do.”

  
      “So what now Ben? What exactly was your end game here? Am I to just be your prisoner?”

  
     He raised his eyes to the ceiling. “Prisoner.. guest.. I guess that depends on you.”

  
     She raised an eyebrow at him. “How so?”

  
     One side of his mouth went up in a lopsided grin, making him look younger than she’d ever seen him. That was her Ben smiling back at her. She so rarely saw glimpses of him, she found her breath catching. He stood from the bed and took a tentative step towards her.

  
     “Are you going to pretend you don’t want to be here? That you aren’t relieved to have been freed from making the choice of whether to follow your duty or your desires?”

  
     He took another step towards her, and she felt herself taking a step back in response, only to find herself trapped between him and the desk. “Or are you going to let go of the person you think you _should_  be and just be the person that you _are_.”

  
     He was so close now that his face was practically touching hers. She could feel the heat coming off his body and she felt herself come alive with his closeness. She slowly reached out a hand and brushed the stray hairs from his face, letting her fingers slide though the loose locks hanging at his nape. He immediately leaned into her touch like he was starved for it. 

  
     His eyes found hers and she saw the question there. He expected an answer and she knew of only one way to give it. She pulled his towering frame downwards and pressed a soft kiss to his mouth. In all the months he’d tormented her, she realized that this was actually their first real kiss. She could smell the clean scent of him, could taste the sweetness of his mouth, could feel the hardness of his body. She pulled him closer and pressed her mouth harder to his, causing him to groan.

  
     Ben snaked his hands around her waist and lifted her up until she was seated on the desk. Settling between her legs, he pulled their bodies as close as he could manage and tangled his hands into her hair while deepening their kiss. She felt his tongue press against the seam of her mouth, demanding entry. She granted it immediately, allowing him complete access. His tongue played across hers, stroking and sucking and stealing her breath. 

  
     She let her hands roam from his neck down his broad shoulders and then across the hard plains of his wide chest. He shuddered beneath her hands and abruptly stopped kissing her, muttering against her mouth, “I’ve waited so long to touch you like this.”

  
     Her reply came out in a breathy whisper, “Then don’t stop.”

  
     His eyes widened and he stepped back momentarily, tearing at his tunic like he couldn’t be rid of it fast enough. It was only moments before her hands found warm skin, smooth save for the numerous tiny scars he’d earned in battle. She feared she might never get enough of touching him. She felt his pulse race beneath his chest and his breathing was ragged and wild. His eyes, usually a deep, multi faceted brown, were now almost black with desire. 

  
     “Your turn I think.” He ground out. He quickly began tugging at the ties and knots holding her robes together until they fell around her and landed in a puddle on the floor, leaving her completely naked save for her underwear. She felt exposed, and for a moment she felt the need to cover herself. 

  
      Sensing her thoughts, he caught her hands before she had the chance to follow through. Turning one upwards and placing a soft kiss on her palm. “Never hide from me. You’re beautiful.”

  
     She had never felt more beautiful than she did in that moment. He pulled her close once more, devouring her mouth. He let one of his large hands trace a path down her neck, skimming over her collarbone to reach down and cup her breast. She arched into his palm, chasing the wildfire his touch sparked. He roughly fondled her chest, tugging a nipple between his fingers, sending delicious sparks of pleasure racing through her body. 

  
     His mouth left hers to trace a path where his hand had just been. He planted searing kisses over her, chasing the path he’d made with his hands. Finding his target, he took a nipple into his mouth and licked the now taut bud until Rey was gasping. She ran her hands into his wild hair and tugged, trying to bring him closer. He relinquished his sensual attack on her breast just to move slightly and devote the same attention to the other. 

  
     Rey’s skin was on fire and she felt a delicious pulling sensation deep within her core. She squeezed her thighs together, trying to find relief from the pressure it caused. Ben reached between them and yanked them back apart, breathily murmuring into her skin, “The only release you’ll find tonight is the one I give you.” 

  
     With those words he pressed the heel of his palm over the fabric of her underwear and applied just the right amount of pressure to have her squirming beneath his touch, all the while continuing his assault on her chest with his mouth. When she began to gasp slightly, feeling the pressure between her legs begin to build, he began to use his entire hand to rub a quick pattern over the bundle of nerves at her center. She felt heat pool between her legs and her underwear grow impossibly damp. Ben did not relent, circling his hand faster and faster until Rey was moaning loudly and openly gasping for breath. 

  
     Suddenly, she felt everything below her waist clench tight as she felt every nerve ending explode with pleasure. Her vision blurred from the sheer force of it. Ben continued to rub a slow pattern over her, causing wave after wave of tiny aftershocks of her orgasm to persist. When he finally relented, she slumped forward into him, feeling her bones turn to jelly. He pressed quick kisses from her jaw to her temple and then lifted her chin to kiss her hard on the mouth. 

  
     “I’m not finished with you yet, my little Jedi. I’ve waited for what feels like an eternity to have you here and now that I’ve got you I’m not letting you sleep till I’ve had my fill.” He growled into her ear.

  
     Lifting her up by her bottom, he wrapped her legs around him and carried her to his massive bed with it’s dark sheets. He spread her across it and loomed over her like a man who had just found a priceless treasure. Crawling over her, he wedged one of his long legs between hers, using his knee to nudge them apart. He ran a hand through her hair softly saying, “Stars, I love you hair like this.”

  
     She chuckled softly. “You’ve said that.”

  
     He smiled back at her. “I don’t plan to stop any time soon.” 

  
     He leaned forward to kiss her once more. What started soft quickly turned to feverish and wild. They met in a mash of tongues and teeth and passion. Ben reached between them and found the edge of her underwear and pulled hard until he heard the fabric rip. She gasped in his mouth, she didn’t think she would ever experience anything so sensual for as long as she lived. His fingers found her slick folds and he quickly slid two long digits into her waiting warmth. He immediately began to pump into her, using the pads of his fingertips to stroke her inner walls as he continued to rock in and out of her in rapid succession. 

  
     Rey could already feel that delicious pull start to tug at her center, making her squirm beneath him. Upon sensing her slow climb begin, Ben abruptly halted the movement of his hand and removed his fingers from inside her. Rey’s eyes flew open in panic, distraught to be denied release. Ben placed a kiss to the top of her nose and said, “The next one you experience will be with me inside you. We”ll feel it together.” 

  
     He hastily stood from the bed and untied the ties that held up his pants. Shrugging out of them, Rey was surprised to see Ben wore nothing beneath them. She suspected that he would be as impressive out of them as he was in them, but her imagination couldn’t do him justice. The hard definition of his abdominal muscles was adorned by a thin line of dark hair leading down to his impressive member. It was long and impossibly thick, jutting out so hard it looked almost painful. 

  
     Rey was suddenly nervous, this would after all be her first time, and while she was no expert she assumed this was going to hurt at least a little. She didn’t want to ruin their time together and disappoint Ben. Sensing her thoughts, he crawled over her once more and held her head in his hands, saying, “Rey, I’ve dreamed of this moment for so long, and _nothing_  about you or us being together could ever disappoint me. I love you, my little Jedi. More than I thought I could ever love another person. More than I thought I could ever love at all for that matter. To me, you are perfect.”

  
     She felt tears well at the edge of her eyes and spill over onto her cheeks as he placed soft kisses to her mouth. He reached between them and began to guide himself to her entrance, pressing softly against her as he pulled back to look into her eyes. “I’ll go slow,” he whispered. “bear with me, this will only hurt for a moment. I promise.”

  
     Pressing forward, she felt him push into her as he slowly filled her, stretching her almost to the point of pain. Once he hit the resistance of her virginity, he captured her mouth in a deep kiss as he surged forward. For a moment she felt bright pain and had to bite down on Ben’s lip to keep from crying out. He lay still inside her, allowing her to grow accustomed his size. After a few short moments, Rey felt the pain begin to dull, and was replaced by a pleasant sense of fullness that caused a delicious tingle between her legs. Ben moved his hips slightly, testing how this made her feel. 

  
     “Are you okay? We can stay like this for a little longer.” He asked softly.

  
     She shook her head, “No, the pain is nearly gone now. I want you to move.”

  
     Needing no further permission, Ben begin to slowly slide in and out of her, allowing her to enjoy each flurry of sensations that were brought about by his movements. Before long there was no pain to speak of, and she found herself moving her hips to meet his thrusts. Spurred by her actions, he quickened his pace and began to relentlessly pound into her like his life depended on it. His mouth found hers once more as his hand roughly squeezed her breast. Rey was so overloaded with sensations she feared she might come apart at the seams. She thought to herself that there could be no sweeter way to perish. 

  
     Just as she felt the pressure begin to build within her, she felt the muscles of Ben’s back begin to tighten and clench. He was close. He reached between them and began a furious assault on her center with his fingers, circling roughly to hasten her orgasm. “I told you,” he ground out. “We’ll feel it together.”

  
     She felt the pressure build and build as a deep pull began to tug deep within her. Ben’s breath was labored and heavy as he pounded into her, still rubbing her hot bundle of nerves with his relentless fingers. Just as the wildfire began to spread across her body she gasped, “Ben, I’m coming!” 

  
     He thrust into her twice more before holding, his eyes rolling back into his head as his hips jerked wildly. Rey’s entire body trembled as she felt her orgasm consume her, burning so bright she feared it might destroy her. It took what felt like hours to wind down from such heights. Spent, Ben collapsed on top of her, breathing heavily into her hair. Neither of them could move or speak, both so overwhelmed by what they’d just shared. 

  
     When Ben finally reared back, he stared down at her and in that moment he wasn’t Kylo Ren, Supreme Leader of the New Order. He was just Ben Solo. The man she loved. “I never said it,” she started, “but I love you too.” 

  
     He looked happier than she had ever seen him. The sheer magnitude of it made her wrought with emotion. He rolled to his back, pulling her with him and tucking her into his side. He placed a kiss into her hair as he stroked idle circles over the smooth skin of her shoulder. 

  
     They lay there for a long while in silence, just content to live in the afterglow of their lovemaking. It wasn’t until a thought occurred to Rey that she thought to break their peaceful silence. “Ben.. I forgot to ask you something.”

  
     “Hmm?” He responded inquisitively.

  
     “Did you _undress me_  while I was _unconscious_?” She asked with a threatening tone. 

  
     Ben laughed out loud. “Your awful desert clothes were dirty and torn. I couldn’t let you stay in those while you were passed out. It had to be done, I’m sorry.”

  
     She lay there for a moment before laughing softly. “No, you’re really not.”

  
     She didn’t see it, but he smiled brightly in the darkness. “No..” he whispered. “I’m really not.

 

[Wildfire Soundtrack](https://open.spotify.com/user/1288719735/playlist/5YF52cl1jizo5eu2ATAvq9?si=ECVDy9kSQyWGwur3D30KUg)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's all for now. :) If you stuck around this long- you're my hero. Thanks for indulging my obsessive fangirl daydreaming. More to come! See you soon!


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was too excited to wait another week, and this was already done. So here is chapter 6!

“Kingdom Come by Demi Lovato”

     Rey awoke to darkness and warmth. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d had a dreamless sleep. Then again, the cause of her usual nocturnal torment currently lay beside her, face down on a pillow, hair mussed from sleep and snoring softly. The only light came from a soft lamp across the room, leaving only just enough light to make out his features. He looked so young in sleep, no hard lines of worry or anger marred his face now. Ben’s legs were tangled with her own, and not wanting to wake him, she kept still. Reaching out to lightly trace the scar on his face, Rey felt a slight twinge of regret at having scarred him. Even then, she’d had feelings she thought she shouldn’t have, and they had terrified her. He’d offered to be her teacher. Where would she be now had she agreed? _Here, more than likely._ She mused. _Just with less time wasted._

  
     Ben stirred then and cracked open one eye to look at her. His mouth turned up in a grin. “Morning.” He grunted. 

  
     She blushed, realizing just how naked they both still were. “Morning..” She replied shyly.   
Turning on his side, Ben snaked an arm out around her and in one swift move tucked her against him. Pressing a kiss into her hair, he began to trace her spine with his fingertips. “I was afraid to wake up,” he murmured into her hair. “I was afraid it had all been a dream.”

  
     “Me too.” She whispered. “What happens now?” 

  
     He sighed. “We’ll figure it out as we go. We’ll consult each other and be honest with each other and between us we’ll find a balance.”

  
     “What of the Resistance? Will you still hunt them?” She asked quietly. 

  
     He remained quiet for a few moments before saying, “No. I won’t. But Rey... they will hunt me. They will hunt you. They’ll think you’re here against your will. They’ll come after you. They’ll never believe you’re here of your own free will and not because I don't have some sinister hold on your mind.”

  
     She hadn’t thought about that. She thought of Finn, Poe, Chara and Atopti.. there was no way they’d return home without her. For all she knew they could be on their way here right now, ready to retrieve her or die trying. “I have to tell them the truth. I have to stop them from attempting to come after me. Your men could hurt them if they come here.”   
He pulled back from her to look at her face. “You would tell them the truth? That you’re here with me.. that you chose me?”

  
     She heard the wonder and disbelief in his voice. He thought she would be ashamed, that she would continue to hide how she felt when it came to her friends. After all they’d done he still didn’t believe he deserved her. It broke her heart. She pulled his face down to hers and pressed a soft kiss to his mouth. “Ben.. no matter what you’ve done, no matter where you go... when no one else in this galaxy wants you.. I will. For now and always. I will never hide from you, from _us_  again.”

  
     Ben swallowed hard and his breath came out in a huff. He thrust his hands into her hair and pulled her mouth to his for a bruising kiss. She felt him hardening between them and she moaned at the feel of him. He wedged a knee between her legs, spreading them, and she was surprised at the soreness she felt there, causing her to wince. 

  
     Breaking their kiss, Ben pulled back and said, “Blast Rey, I’m sorry. You’re sore aren’t you? Here I am acting like a damn teenager.”

  
     “It’s not so bad..” she said. 

  
     He untangled them and shook his head. “I need to clean you up. Hold on.”

  
     He rose from the bed and padded across dim room towards the bathroom. She took the opportunity to admire the sculpted muscles of his shoulders, his back, and finally his firm backside. She blushed despite the fact that he couldn’t see her staring. 

  
     Without turning around, he chuckled across the room, tapping a finger to his head, “I still know you are though.”

  
     She bit her lip to stifle a laugh, watching him disappear into the bathroom. She heard a cabinet opening and then the water running. When Ben returned, (she definitely took the opportunity to admire him from the front per the return trip), he was holding a wet cloth. “What are you doing?” She asked.

  
     “I told you, I need to clean you up.” He responded.

  
     “I didn’t sweat _that_ much.” She said raising an eyebrow.

  
     “Ah... no. That’s not what I mean. It was your first time.. you know..” He trailed off sheepishly. 

  
     “Oh.” She said blushing again. “No way. I can do that myself.” 

  
     He swiftly ripped the covers from her and grabbed an ankle, pulling her to the edge of his bed. “I don’t think so. Now that I have you here I think I’ll be the only one to touch you like this from now on.”

  
     She groaned in embarrassment and threw an arm over her eyes, shutting them tightly. He gently spread her legs and knelt between them. “It’s not that bad,” he said. “maybe a little swollen.”

  
     She felt the cloth press against her and gently swipe downwards. The roughness of the fabric against her center was a strange sensation, stinging her sore flesh, but also somewhat arousing her from the intimacy of it all. At the second press of the cloth, she felt her mouth part with an almost inaudible gasp.   
“Are you okay?” He asked.

  
     “Yes.” She replied breathily. 

  
     Another press of fabric to her core, causing her thighs to tense and her toes to curl involuntarily. 

  
     “Seems to me like you might be a little more than okay.” He snickered. 

  
     Rey tried to crawl away from where he held her but he grabbed her hip, pinning her where she was at the edge of bed. “Stay.” He commanded. “I like you like this.” 

  
     He slid his hand down her hip, suddenly grasping under both knees and placing both of her legs over his shoulders. He turned his head, placing soft kisses down the inside of her thigh. Realizing his intent, Rey once more tried to squirm free from embarrassment, but he only grasped her thighs tighter, holding her legs in place. 

  
     “ _Ben_..”  She whispered harshly. She didn’t know if she was asking him to stop or keep going. 

  
     “Shhh...” He breathed into her skin. “Don’t think, just feel.” He continued to trail kisses down until she could feel his warm breath against her sex. 

  
     When she felt his tongue dart out to taste her, her hips rose off the bed involuntarily. Ben let go of his grasp on her knees and reached out to grab her hips instead, steadying her and holding her in place. He swiped his tongue up the seam of her opening, igniting a fire in her. Parting her with his tongue, he began to trace circles around the sensitive bundle of nerves at her core. 

  
     Rey’s mind grew foggy and it became difficult to form coherent thought with the onslaught of sensations Ben was inciting in her. She felt the familiar burn she had become to associate with him, that wildfire that only he could ignite. When he began to suck in earnest, she quit breathing altogether. She knew she wouldn’t last long this way. The pressure continued to build, threatening to explode and she had no power to stop it. 

  
     Then, as Ben reached between them and slipped two long fingers inside her, she felt her body shake and her hips buck into his face as her orgasm overtook her. Ben held on, continuing to lavish her with his tongue and fingers through it all, prolonging her pleasure for as long as she could stand. When her body was spent and she felt herself slump into the mattress, Ben crawled up and over her, pulling them both back to the top of the bed. 

  
     “What about you?” She asked. “You didn’t get to..” she trailed off, embarrassed. 

  
     “We’re not keeping score Rey, I don’t want to overwhelm you all at once. Besides, we’ve got plenty of time.” He said, smiling.

  
     “I could.. you know.. reciprocate. I’ve never done it before obviously but if you told me what to do..” She stammered. 

  
     “Stars,” He groaned. “Why does _that_  sound so damn enticing? As much as the thought of instructing you how to pleasure me arouses me, it’s getting late and I have things I need to see to.”

  
     “Ah, of course. _Supreme Leader_ and all.” She said, rolling her eyes. “If you think I’m going to call you that in front of your lackeys..”

  
     He laughed out loud. “No, I don’t expect you would.”

  
     Just then the intercom sounded at his door, breaking their easy banter. 

  
     “Sir, permission to enter? I have a matter I need to discuss with you.”

  
     Ben sat up, “Damn. Hux. Can’t get a moments peace from that one.”

  
     “What do I do? Hide?” Rey asked, pulling the covers up to hide her nudity. 

  
     He shook his head. “Actually I like you like this, and I’d love to give the little weasel a surprise.”

  
     “Ben don’t you dare-” she started but Ben was already telling Hux to enter. She hastily pulled the covers up to her chin as General Hux came strolling into Ben’s quarters. 

  
     “Sir there’s an issue with..” Hux trailed off, noticing Rey mummified within Ben’s bedding and Ben, sitting up with his arms behind his head, the picture of ease. Ben cleared his throat, causing Hux to remove his wide eyes from Rey and focus on him. 

  
     Ben’s face was passive as he said, “Yes, General? You were saying something about an issue?”

  
     “Sir it might be best if we spoke in private.” Hux replied tightly.

  
     Ben shrugged. “I can’t think of anywhere more private than my private quarters.”

  
     “Sir-” Hux started but Ben cut him off.

  
     “Anything you need to say to me you can say in front of her. Is that clear?” Ben demanded.

  
     Hux’s eyes narrowed slightly, but he nodded curtly. “Yes sir, of course. As I was saying there is an issue with a Resistance ship that was spotted leaving hyperspace not two parsecs from our location. They took out a few patrol fighters.”

  
     Rey sat up, her heart hammering. “Are they alive?”

  
     Hux shifted his gaze to her, his eyes filled with disdain. “Worried about your rebel scum friends?”

  
     Ben’s arms came from behind his head and he raised a hand towards Hux, who immediately looked as if it had become difficult to breathe. “You will never speak to her like that again, understood? Next time you’ll find your airways crushed instead of constricted.”

  
     Hux suddenly began to gasp as his ability to breathe returned to him and spat out, “Yes, Sir. Apologies sir.”

  
     “Now, continue.” Ben said.

  
     Still red faced and breathing laboredly, Hux continued. “They sent a message through the coms, and asked that we deliver it to ‘that Ren bastard’, if you’ll pardon me saying so.” Although Hux didn’t look at all chagrined to be saying so.

  
     Ben’s face remained passive. “What is the message?”

  
     Hux looked at Rey then, “Give us Rey or we will burn down your entire fleet.” Hux scoffed. “As if they could. There can’t be any more than a handful of them left.”

  
     “Very well,” Ben told him. “You’ve delivered your message. You may go.”

  
     “But sir-” He started.

  
     “I said,” Ben replied, eyes flashing, “you may go.”

  
     Hux turned on his heel and quickly left the room. Ben sighed and turned to Rey, who’s mind was reeling from the information Hux had just given them. “Well,” he said. “That didn’t take them long. Dedicated aren’t they?”

  
     “How are you so calm about this?  Months ago you came blazing on to the sands of Crait ready to blast us out of the sky. Now you’re so cavalier.”

  
     He chewed on the inside of his lip, thinking. “I’m not that person anymore Rey. I still believe that I, that we can bring order to the galaxy, but that anger that used to rule me isn’t there anymore. You being here with me is like the antidote to the poison that used to run through my veins. As long as you’re with me, I can heal.”

  
     Damn her heart, would it ever not react to the things he said? He smiled as if reading her thoughts and she swatted his shoulder. “Well, what do we do?”

  
     He thought about it for a moment before answering, “If you meant what you said about telling them the truth, you can send them a holo from the ships command center... if they’ll even accept an incoming transmission from a New Order vessel.”

  
     “Of course I meant what I said, but that will mean me going outside won’t it? What will your men think of me being here freely?” 

  
     He scoffed. “I honestly couldn’t give a bantha’s ass what they think. They’ll treat you with respect or they’ll forfeit the use of their legs.”

  
     “You can’t just maim everyone who doesn’t accept us.” She said, exasperated.

  
     He gave her a look as if to say, _That’s what you think._

  
     “You’re impossible.” She told him.

  
     “Yet here you are.” He said cheekily.

  
     Rolling her eyes she muttered, “Impossible.”, under her breath. Swinging her legs over the side of the bed, she rose to dress. “Where are my clothes?” She asked.

  
     “I imagine in the floor where I left them.” He said, watching her.

  
     “You’re staring.” She said.

  
     “Not sorry.” He said straight faced.

  
     She shook her head and crossed the floor to gather her clothes from where they lay near the desk. “Hux seemed to be very aggravated that I’m here.”

  
     Ben shrugged. “Hux is always aggravated about something I’ve done. I’m not very concerned with his grievances.”

  
     “You aren’t worried he’ll cross you one day?” She asked.

  
     “Ah, there’s no doubt in my mind that he’ll attempt it at some point. It’s just a matter of how and when.” He said nonchalantly.

  
     “That doesn’t concern you?” She replied.

  
     “Not particularly. Hux is a pawn ever in need of a path to follow. He’s fancies himself a leader but without someone to give him orders he’d be lost. When the day comes he forgets his place, I’ll be ready to thoroughly remind him.” He said coldly.

  
     That was the Kylo Ren everyone had come to fear. No wonder people followed him here. With her he was warm and inviting, with the world he was cold and formidable. It was an odd balance. 

  
     Once her robes were thoroughly back in place, she began to lace up her boots. Ben then decided to dress himself, and rose out of bed to cross the room and gather his clothes. She had a hard time focusing on her task of lacing with him cavalierly walking around naked. She found her gaze glancing between his legs and found even when he wasn’t aroused he was impressive. She bit her lip and retrained her eyes to her boots so as not to be distracted. 

  
     Ben adorned his pants and began to lace them up. Once they were in place, he leaned near her to pick up his tunic. Before putting it back on, he grabbed her chin and turned her to face him, placing a searing kiss on her mouth. 

  
     “It’s very hard for me to leave this room, I hope you know that. If it were up to me, we’d just forget the world and I’d keep you locked up in here forever.” He told her.

  
     “We can’t get lost in ourselves Ben, no matter how much we want to. The galaxy still lies in turmoil and we have to fix it.” She said sternly.

  
     He chuckled as he resigned himself to redress in his tunic. Pulling it over his head he said, “That’s the brave little Jedi that won my heart. Always someone to save.”

  
     “I don’t feel very brave right now. I’d rather dive into a sarlacc pit than face your minions out there.” She said nervously. 

  
     He crossed the distance between them and placed a finger under her chin can tilting it up so that she was looking at him. “Hey,” he said. “You’ve nothing to fear. Hux would have already spread word by now of your presence and my feelings on the matter. With Snoke gone, to those people, I am king. That’s how they see me, and if I am king, you are my queen. They’ll be sure not to offend you even if only for the fear of offending me by proxy. Don’t worry.” 

  
     “Exactly. They believe _I_  killed Snoke.” She said.

  
     “The only person who believes that is Hux, and I’ve ordered him not to repeat it. No one else knows what happened in that throne room but us, so put your mind at ease.” He replied.

  
     She took a deep breath, calming herself. “Alright. You’re right. I can do this. I’m sorry for being such a laserbrain.”

  
     He took her hand in his. “Never apologize to me. You’ve nothing to apologize for.” 

  
     He began to pull her towards the door leading out of his room and she steeled herself for the peering eyes she would soon endure. “Now my Queen,” he said as the doors to his room opened. “Let’s go brave your new kingdom.”

 

 [Wildfire Soundtrack](https://open.spotify.com/user/1288719735/playlist/5YF52cl1jizo5eu2ATAvq9?si=XaNbwr2VSx6u4UZ8raMqPg)

 


	7. Chapter 7

“In My Veins by Andrew Belle”

     They stepped outside Ben’s quarters into a sleek empty hallway. The entire place seemed to be made entirely of steel, metal as far as the eye could see. “Where is everyone?” Rey asked.

  
     “I’m the only one residing in this section. I like to be alone.” He said. Shooting her a half grin he added, “Or at least I used to.” As they made their way to the elevator at the end of the hall, Ben turned to her suddenly, halting her. “Listen, Rey, I can’t show weakness to these people, and to them, kindness, compassion, empathy.. those are all weaknesses. Kylo is what they’re used to. Do you understand?”

  
     She nodded slowly. “Yes.. I understand.  As long as Ben is still in there somewhere.”

  
     He pressed a quick kiss to her forehead. “I told you Rey, he’s wherever you are.”

  
     Taking her hand, he led them into the elevator and pushed a button near the top of the panel. “I’m taking you straight to the bridge, that’s where the holo transmitter is. I’ll clear everyone out for you so you can have some privacy.”

  
     “You won’t stay with me?” She asked.

  
     “Do you want me to?” He replied questioningly, raising an eyebrow.

  
     “I just think.. I think we need to present a united front. It’s going to be hard enough convincing them I’m here of my own free will.” She said.

  
     His brow furrowed, “I’m sure your little rebel paramour will respond fantastically to that.”

  
     Her heart constricted thinking of Finn. In the whirlwind of everything that had happened she hadn’t had time to think about confronting him again. The way she’d left things between them had been terrible. He was out there thinking he’d lost her to some terrible fate shortly after a huge fight. To find out she was content to her current situation would crush him. 

  
     Ben sensed her hesitation. “Listen, if you need to put on a show that you’re here for diplomatic reasons only, I can live with that. There’s no need to throw all of your cards at him at once. You can spare him some pain, if only temporarily.”

  
     She mulled it over. Sure, that would mean that Finn’s feelings might be somewhat spared, but what about Ben? He’d been an outcast for so long, could she really add to that sense of not belonging by hiding her feelings? 

  
     She shook her head. “No. I told you, I won’t hide from us any more. It will hurt him, but the truth is the only way to move forward.”

  
     “You say that, but do you even know what it means? I can’t just halt this war. Neither side will agree to it readily. There is too much hatred that runs too deep. I will have to do things in the near future you won’t like. I’ll have to _be_ someone you don’t like at times, or else they’ll overthrow me.” He said thoughtfully. 

  
     “You don’t think I’ve thought about it? I know you’ll do what’s right Ben. I have faith in you. I think I always have. I knew when I chose you the road ahead wouldn’t be easy, but I’m here with you on it anyway. Let’s just take one step at a time. We have to arrange a meeting with your mother. We have to find some sort of accord.” 

  
     He swallowed hard at the mention of his mother. She’d mentioned her offhandedly not realizing how it would affect him. She placed a comforting hand on his forearm. “How long has it been?”

  
     His eyes averted to the floor. “Almost ten years.” He said, his voice barely above a whisper.

  
     “Are you scared?” She asked him.

  
     He made a face. “Of course not, don’t be ridiculous.”

  
     She rolled her eyes. “It doesn’t make you weak to be afraid.”

  
     He gave her a look that said he believed otherwise. “Hey,” she said. “it doesn’t. It’s natural to be afraid, but your mother loves you. She always has.”

  
     At that moment the elevator came to a halt and the doors slid open, revealing a wide, sleek room buzzing with people dressed in New Order uniforms. Rey instinctively went on guard. Ben put a steadying hand on her shoulder to calm her, then walked ahead into the middle of the room. Rey followed uneasily, avoiding the eyes of all those turning to look at her suspiciously. 

  
     Hux was there at the helm, and turned to meet them. He gave Ben a tight look of barely restrained hostility and to Rey he downright sneered. Ben narrowed his eyes at the General, saying, “I believe we already discussed this General, you’ll show her respect. That includes your expressions, unless you’d like me to render you incapable of making them.”

  
     Hux swallowed hard but didn’t say anything. He only offered a curt nod in Ben’s direction. Ben continued, “We need to use the holo transmitter.”

  
     Hux nodded. “Of course, sir.”

  
     Ben looked around the room at everyone else, saying a little more loudly, “We need to use the holo transmitter, _alone_. Everyone is to leave, now.”

  
     “But sir-“ Hux began, but Ben cut him off sharply. 

  
     “I said,” Ben said in a menacing tone. “ _Now_.”

  
     Everyone began to file out quickly towards the elevator. Hux followed, but allowed them one last look of reproach before climbing aboard with the others to leave them to it. Ben stared after him as he went, speaking only after the elevator doors had closed and left them alone. “He’s going to be a problem.”

  
     “He’s not going to take this quietly, that’s for sure.” Rey agreed.

  
     Ben’s jaw ticked, thinking. “I’m not worried. I’ll deal with him when the time comes.”

  
     “I wouldn’t underestimate someone that full of hate.” Rey mused.

  
     Ben grinned sardonically. “I’m not worried. I know all about that after all, don’t I?”

  
     Rey rolled her eyes. “So how do we do this?”

  
     Ben walked over to the control panel and begin typing in directives. “You’ll need to stand on the center platform for the transmitter to pick you up.” 

  
     She stepped up onto the rectangular platform and stood, feeling more and more nervous by the second. There was no way that Finn and the others were just going to accept her decision. They’d never believe she was here by choice. She had to convince them somehow that this was for the best. 

  
     “There.” Ben said from the control panel. “I’ve locked on to their ship’s signal.  They’ll be coming online soon.” He walked up the short stairs and stood behind her, leaning against a panel. Keeping his distance, but also staying within sight. He gave her a short nod to let her know he was here if she needed him. 

  
     Rey heard the crackle of the transmitter connecting and within seconds Poe came into view, looking angry and shouting. “Listen here you caped son of a... Rey? Rey, is that you?”

  
     “Hello, Poe.” She said quietly.

  
     She saw Poe being jostled to the side as Finn came into view. “Rey? Stars, Rey. I’m so sorry. We let you down. I let you down. I never should have let you storm out. Are you okay? He hasn’t hurt you has he?”

  
     Rey shook her head. “No. I’m perfectly alright. Ben hasn’t let anything happen to me here.”

  
     Finn sighed. “That’s great. I was so worried that.. did you just call him Ben?”

  
     Rey steeled herself. “Yes, I did.”

  
     Finn’s nose scrunched up in distaste. “Is the sick bastard making you call him that? What game is he playing?”

  
     Rey shook her head. “It’s no game. Look, guys. I need you to listen to me.” She took a deep breath. “I’m not here against my will. It’s my choice to stay here.”

  
     Finn looked taken aback and Poe’s mouth dropped completely open. “Rey,” Poe started. “You’re confused. He’s got you under some sort of control. Don’t worry, we’re going to get you out of there. We’re going to-”

  
     “No, guys. Listen to the words coming out of my mouth. I’m here _by choice_.” Rey interrupted. 

  
     Finn stared at her long and hard. “What does that even mean exactly? What exactly would cause you to want to stay with that monster by choice?”

  
     She met his gaze evenly. “There are things I haven’t told you.”

  
     “I’m all ears.” Finn replied tensely.

  
     “The bond.. the bond that I’ve said died with Snoke.. the bond never disconnected. Ben has been with me all this time.” She said quietly.

  
     Poe shook his head. “So what, you’ve just been feeding him information this entire time? His own personal spy?”

  
     “No!” She protested. “I resisted him for _months_. For months I denied the truth of my feelings. I kept him out as best as I could. Resisted all the things I didn’t think I should want. I never betrayed the Resistance.”

     “You said you didn’t think you _should_  want... but that means you did.” Finn asked, sounding wounded. 

  
     Rey hung her head slightly. “I’m sorry. I did. Part of me has always belonged to him.”

  
     Finn looked up at what she assumed was the ceiling of their cockpit while Poe stared ahead, unseeing, processing what she said. “Suddenly so many things make sense. Why you always kept me at an arms length. Blast, why you always kept all of us at an arms length.” Finn said bitterly. 

  
     “I never meant to hurt you Finn. I never meant to hurt anyone.” She replied sadly.

  
     Finn laughed but there was no humor in it. “Didn’t mean to hurt anyone? Well, you did Rey. You hurt a lot of people. Now you’re the enemy. We’ll have to hunt you. You’ll stand on the opposite side and we’ll have to destroy you. Do you realize what you’ve done? You’ve ensured that if we meet on the battlefield, we’ll meet as enemies.”

  
     Rey stepped forward. “It doesn’t have to to be like that. We can _end_  this war. We need to meet with General Organa.”

  
     Poe snapped his eyes up. “If you even think we’ll allow you and that bastard anywhere near the General you’re out of your mind.”

  
     “You _must_ Poe. Tell Leia her son wants to see her. We can end this without anymore bloodshed. He’s not who you think he is. There is good in him, just as I knew there always was.” She pleaded.

  
     Finn leaned forward menacingly. “He’s not who _you_  think he is, Rey. He’s a monster, and apparently, unbeknownst to all of us, you are too.”

  
     Ben stepped forward then, coming into view of the transmission. “You will not talk to her like that.”

  
     Finn snapped his eyes towards Ben as Poe clenched the dash in front of him. “I should have known you’d be nearby, lurking.” Finn ground out. 

  
     “As far as Rey is concerned, I’ll always be nearby, FN-2187. Or _Finn,_  as you so completely took up after jumping ship and playing Rebel. For that matter, I’ve _always_ been nearby. Think about that.” Ben said coolly as he placed a hand gently on the small of Rey’s back in quiet support. 

  
     Finn’s nostril’s flared at the sight of Ben touching her. “Don’t _touch_  her, you bastard.”

  
     Ben cut his eyes to Finn’s. “I’ve done _much_ more than just touch her.”

  
     “Ben!” Rey exclaimed. Slapping him across the chest. “Now is not the time for your little territorial standoff.”

  
     Ben continued to stare at Finn as Finn did the same, in a silent battle. Flicking his eyes to hers, Ben said quietly, “He started it.”

  
     Rey huffed, exasperated. “I’m finishing it. Nothing will be accomplished this way.”

  
     Ben chewed on the inside of his lip in anger, but finally said, “Fine. Say what you came to say.” He walked back out of view so as not to distract anyone further. 

  
     Rey turned back to Poe and Finn. “Look, I need you to believe me. I’m still your friend, I still want the same things I did. I want peace, I want an end to this war, and we can obtain all that without bloodshed.”

  
     Poe looked at her in disbelief. “Even if I were to believe that our dark friend there has suddenly had a change of heart, which I don’t really, how do you plan to convince his fleet of slaves that were literally bred for the destruction of all we’ve built?”

  
     Rey looked directly at Finn. “Hearts can change, the evidence of that is sitting right there with you. Isn’t that right Finn? Is it so hard to believe?”

  
     Finn was breathing heavily, noticeably angry, but didn’t respond. Poe looked thoughtful. “She’s got us there buddy.” He said in Finn’s direction. 

  
     Finn shook his head. “How can we ever trust you again?”

  
     “I’m still me. I lied to you, I betrayed your trust, I misled you... but I’m still the same person I always was. I’m so sorry that it took me so long to tell you the truth, but I need you to trust me now. The fate of the galaxy depends on it.” She said, beseechingly. 

  
     Poe and Finn exchanged a look in silent conversation. Finn shrugged and gave Rey one last hard look before turning away and heading towards what she assumed was the cabin, disappearing from view. 

  
     “Look Rey, I want to trust you. I do. There’s just no way for us to be sure this isn’t Ren’s plan. That he doesn’t have you under some sort of dark control. We will consult with General Organa, and get back with you somehow. I have to ask though... I’m assuming your capture was all according to his plan?” Poe asked.

  
     Rey nodded, saying quietly. “Yes.” 

  
     Poe nodded thoughtfully. “Does he know the whereabouts of our base?”

  
     Rey nodded again. “Yes... but he knew before my capture. He knew through our bond and he didn’t raise a finger towards them. He didn’t tell anyone else in the New Order. Doesn’t that show you he’s changed?”

  
     Poe shrugged. “That or he’s got a hell of a long game plan in the works.”

  
     Rey sighed. “Please, _please_ , just tell Leia what I’ve said. Tell her we can end this war, tell her that Ben Solo is not lost.”

  
     Poe gave her a thoughtful look. “I will tell her Rey. You be careful, and I hope you know what you’re doing.” With that he ended the transmission. 

  
     Rey slumped to her knees and hung her head. Ben was there in an instant, pulling her upwards and into his arms. “That went about as well as I expected.” He said.

  
     “Do you think they’ll come around?” She asked quietly.

  
     He shrugged. “Only time will tell my little Jedi.”

  
     She pulled him close. “They’ll never agree to meet with us, will they?”

  
     He stroked her hair idly. “Who can say? They can either give us a chance to end this war together, or they can get out of our way and we’ll do it ourselves. We don’t _need_  them Rey.”

  
     She pushed back to look at him. “The two of us can’t take on the entire galaxy alone, it’s just too big.”

  
     He replied thoughtfully, “Perhaps, but I’m telling you now, if they do anything to attempt to harm you, or even to take you from me, I won’t hesitate to cut them down.”

  
     She sighed. “That’s Kylo Ren talking.”

  
     He cut his eyes to hers. “When are you going to see that the halves you keep divided in your mind make up the same whole you see before you? I am who I am no matter what name you call me, Rey.”

  
     “I just don’t want to lose you to the dark again.” She replied.

  
     “Don’t worry, I’ll be holding on to your Ben with as hard as I can. I see the appeal in him. After all, Kylo would never have gotten you to stay.” 

  
     “Oh I don’t know,” she responded playfully. “I do secretly like watching you bully Hux.”

  
     He smiled wide. “Ah, should I have kept the helmet?”

  
     She rolled her eyes. “You’re impossible.”

  
     “I think you like it though.” He said. His eyes darted to the elevator. “Come on, we have to face them eventually. Who knows how long it will take the Rebels to contact us again? I’ll need to address the fleet and pull them back from the outer rims.”

  
     “Do you think they’ll comply without a fight?” She asked.

  
     “Doubtful. There may be some resistance. I may have to be forceful.” He said concerned.

  
     Stars, why did that sort of excite her? 

  
     Ben smiled, tapping his finger to her temple. “Ah, you _do_  like it.”

  
     She pushed off him and began to stalk towards the elevator away from him. She was nervous for the encounter to come, but she knew they were heading down the right path. She just had to trust herself, trust her friends, and trust Ben. Everything would be okay. It had to be. 

 

 [Wildfire Soundtrack](https://open.spotify.com/user/1288719735/playlist/5YF52cl1jizo5eu2ATAvq9?si=XaNbwr2VSx6u4UZ8raMqPg)

 

 

 


	8. Chapter 8

“Everybody Wants to Rule the World” by Lorde

     As the elevator descended towards the lower levels of the ship, Rey felt her nerves build. She was willingly walking right into the lion’s den. The idea of being surrounded by hundreds of members of the New Order, even under the protection of Ben, made her sick to her stomach. 

  
     Sensing her unease Ben said, “You know I’d never let anything happen to you, right?”

  
     “I know that, but I can take care of myself.” She said.

  
     “Ah, of course you can. I must be imagining the mental bullets you’re sweating.” He replied, amused.

  
     Rey sighed and rubbed her hands over her face. “It’s just hard to be here. In your quarters it’s easy to forget that this is a _New Order_  vessel. A week ago if I’d been here I would have been armed with a blaster and would have had to have been in disguise.” 

  
     He nodded thoughtfully. “I understand, and I still can’t fully guarantee that there isn’t someone aboard this ship who wouldn’t risk my wrath and try to harm you. I need you to stay close to me at all times. Do you understand?”

  
     She fought the urge to argue, not wanting to seem weak, and simply nodded instead. Logically, she knew Ben was right. She was outmanned and outgunned here. It was just hard to depend on someone when you’ve always only been able to count on yourself.

   
     Hearing her inner conflict as usual, he assured her, “Don’t worry, I don’t think you’re incapable of taking care of yourself. I know that given the chance you’d more than likely storm your own castle and successfully save yourself. I’m just telling you that you don’t have to anymore. I’m here now. We’re in this together, Rey.”

  
     His words warmed her and soothed her unease. “Thank you, Ben.” She said smiling softly.

  
     “Don’t thank me yet. We’ll need to meet with Hux and the other bridge officers before addressing the fleet in the South landing bay.” He said wearily.

  
     “Hux will never accept this. I don’t know your other officers but I have to assume they’ll be just as difficult as he is.” She replied.

  
     “Oh, you can count on it. We’ll be meeting with the General, as well as Lieutenant Bhindi Thorn and Captain Thes Thane. Both obstinate, both ruthless. They have stayed continually glued to Hux’s coattails since Phasma’s demise and like most of the people on this ship.. they don’t particularly care for me.” Ben said with a shrug.

  
     The elevator came to a halt and opened to yet another wide hallway. Stepping out she continued, “Is everyone on this ship just waiting to remove you from the picture? What’s to stop them from succeeding?”

  
     Ben smiled. “They know I’ll kill them if they try.”

  
     Rey swallowed hard. Conflicting feelings rose up in her. She knew in her heart that although Ben had figuratively come back from the dead, Kylo still lived inside him. She saw him in every threat, every harsh word he spoke to his subordinates, every dark promise of malicious intent towards those who might harm her. While she worried about him, she found herself less and less concerned with this side of him. Somehow, being here with him was blurring the lines of his two halves and she was just seeing him as he was. A man who’d done all he could with the hand he’d been dealt. She was afraid that her love for him was making her blind to any warning signs of residual darkness in him. 

  
     Ben stopped walking before they rounded a corner and turned to look at her, brow furrowed. Blast. Sometimes she hated this bond. She couldn’t even talk through her own thoughts now. 

  
     “I’m not thrilled about it either. It’s stronger with you this close, and especially so when you’re emotional. I don’t particularly _enjoy_ hearing you agonize over how you feel about me.” He said softly.

  
     “Ben, it’s not that. I just... this is all so confusing.” She sighed.

  
     “I told you that day on Ach To when we met through the bond, I’ve no want to be anyone other than who I am. While you’ve opened my eyes to a better way, and made me feel things I’d never thought I’d feel, I am who I am because I had to be. I told you we’d find a balance, I just need you to trust me.” He replied, eyes pleading.

  
     She bit her lip, angry at herself for making him feel unsure. She reached out, trying to sense his feelings but his mind was so much more difficult to breach. She sensed faint tendrils of genuine sadness at the prospect of her doubting her choices. She cursed herself and her turbulent emotions. “Of course I trust you. I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t. I’m just adjusting, and unfortunately because of our incredibly invasive connection you’re forced to endure every little inner conflict I go through along the way. I’m sorry.”

  
     He nodded. “I understand. Just.. when you have worries or doubts, tell me. Don’t agonize. Talk to me. I want to do whatever I can to assure you. At least then it won’t feel like I’m stealing them from your head.” 

  
     She groaned. “It’s so unfair that I’m an open book but I have to fight for scraps of information from your head. We share the same bond, yet you reap all the benefits it seems like.”

  
     The corner of his mouth turned up slightly in amusement. “You forget I’ve trained in the Force for a very long time. I can protect my mind from being so easily onslaught. I told you before in the forest, you need a teacher.”

  
     “I suppose you think you’re the one to do it?” She said.

  
     He laughed softly. “Maybe, if you’re good.”

  
     She shook her head in exasperation. Suddenly Ben’s face went hard and he held out an arm to sweep her behind him. “They’re coming. Get behind me, and don’t engage them. I don’t trust them not to try something.”

  
     She instantly shut her mouth and stood directly behind Ben as they rounded the corner. Hux was coming down the corridor flanked by two large men in the usual black attire worn by New Order officers. 

  
     The larger one was olive skinned with dark hair and a large blooming scar covering the entire right side of his neck. The slightly shorter officer was pale faced with blonde hair, a long nose and sporting an eye patch over his left eye. Both men wore hard expressions and looked as if they hadn’t smiled a day in their lives. Rey instantly bristled at the sight of them. 

  
     “General Hux,” Ben started. “I was looking for you. I need you to assemble our forces in the South Landing Bay.”

  
     Hux cocked his head to the side in confusion. “May I ask why?”

  
     “Seems you already have.” Ben replied irritably. “We’re pulling out forces back and commanding them to return to base, effective immediately.”

     Hux immediately bristled. “Sir, but why? We’re this close to locating where the Resistance are hiding. We can’t stop now.”

  
     “I didn’t ask for your opinions General, and I won’t give explanations. See that it’s done.” Ben snapped.

  
     The larger of Hux’s lackeys stepped forward menacingly. “ _Supreme Leader_ ,” He all but spat. “If I may. We are all very curious as to why we are housing a former traitor. Is the girl under your control?”

  
     Ben’s entire body went rigid with what Rey knew to be rage. She didn’t want to see him give in to his anger for her sake. She placed a steadying hand on the center of his back hoping to calm him. She saw him exhale slowly before responding.

  
     “Rey is here as my guest Lieutenant, and I’m going to assume that the good General has not yet mentioned the consequences of treating her with anything other than respect. I would not do so again.” Ben said evenly.

  
      _Lieutenant_? Rey thought. This monster of a man wasn’t the Captain?

  
      _Don’t let Thane’s size fool you. He’s more of a monster than I am._ Was her answering reply through the bond.

  
     Rey flicked her eyes to the smaller man. His one good eye was such a pale blue that it was almost colorless. It bore into her with what might almost be mistaken as passiveness without looking closer. His expression remained blank, but it was several seconds before he let his gaze fall from her. 

  
     The Lieutenant, or Thorn, was quietly seething. “Of course, _sir_.” He ground out. “My deepest apologies.”

  
     Hux cleared his throat. “Will that be all, sir?”

  
     “Yes.” Ben replied. “See that it’s done immediately.”

  
     Hux nodded and with his henchman in tow, passed by them to head towards the elevators from which they’d come. Several moments passed while Ben stood still, calming himself. Rey took his hand. “Hey,” she said gently. “Are you okay?”

  
     “I’m fine.” He said, aggravated. “I just.. when they talk to you like that.. When they think about all the things they’d like to do to you.. I want to kill them Rey. Very badly. I want to destroy anyone who would try to take you from me.”

  
     “Ben, there will always be people who dislike me, who wish me ill will. I’m a big girl, I can handle it.” She said.

  
     “I know. I know that. I just can’t stand to hear them talk to you like you’re nothing.” He replied. 

  
     She laughed softly. “As far as they’re concerned Ben, I am nothing.”

  
     He reached a gloved finger under her chin to tilt her face up to look at him. “But not to me, remember?”

  
     She pressed a soft kiss on his mouth. “That’s enough for me.”

  
     “Come. We need to continue on.” He said, tugging her hand down the corridor.

  
     “Ben... I think maybe I should go back.” She said tentatively. 

  
     “What? Go back?” He asked, confused. 

  
     “I don’t think I should be there when you address the fleet.” She replied.

  
     “What happened to presenting a united front?” He asked.

  
     She shook her head. “That is a good strategy for my people, I don’t think it is for yours. Everywhere we’ve gone together aboard this ship we’ve been met with hostility. I’ll just be a distraction. At least while it’s so new, maybe I need to stay out of sight as much as possible.”

  
     He mulled this over for a moment. “If you’re sure. Maybe you’re right. I’ll take you back to my quarters.”

  
     She waved him off. “I can ride an elevator by myself. Everyone will be waiting for you in the landing bay anyway.”

  
     “You’re not going anywhere alone.” He said forcefully. 

  
     “Ben you said your quarters were on a level by themselves. No one can’t accost me in an elevator to a deserted level. Relax. You need to get to the landing bay.” She replied.

   
     “Fine.” He replied sullenly. “I’ll at least walk you to the right elevator.”

  
     He took her hand again and led her around a corner and down another section of hallway. At the end of the corridor was another set of elevator doors. “Go straight to my quarters and do not open the door for anyone but me.”

  
     “ _Okay_ , I know. Good luck out there.” She said. 

  
     “Straight there, Rey. I mean it.” He said pointedly. “Level D-34 is your stop.”

  
     “Ah, certainly _Supreme Leader_.” She said cheekily.

  
     Ben’s jaws ticked slightly. “You’ll pay for that later.”

  
     She pressed her button and smiled as the doors closed. Thinking to herself that she’d hoped to do just that. 

  
      _Careful_... Was all she heard whispered through the bond.

  
     She leaned into the wall of the elevator and let her mind wander. She was glad she’d decided to let Ben address his men alone. She knew that being there would only incite more distrust and ire towards him. They needed the Order to comply to a standstill without a fight. 

  
     She let her head fall back against the steel of the elevator wall. So much had happened in the last few days. Everything about her life had been turned upside down. She did not regret her decision to stay with Ben, in fact in some ways she felt more free than she ever had. She just wished there were a way to have him in her life without everything else being so complicated. She was afraid her friends in the Resistance would never trust her again. What would she do if they truly determined that she was their enemy? 

  
     She was shaken from her thoughts when the elevator suddenly came to a shaky stop. She tried to tell herself that it was just a system error, but knew that a ship as advanced as this one was unlikely to suffer from random mechanical errors. 

  
     Still at a standstill, she reached out to Ben through their bond. She was met with cold silence. She had never before actively sought him out and found herself alone in her thoughts. Was his mind so occupied with his fleet that he had subconsciously blocked her out? That seemed unlikely. 

  
     Rey reached out and pressed an emergency button that should have forced the doors to open, but pushing it did absolutely nothing. Again, she tried to reach out to Ben. 

  
      _Ben... if you can hear me, something is happening. I’m trapped in the elevator._

  
     She waited several seconds before realizing that she was indeed alone with her thoughts. Maybe for the first time since before Crait. Above her was a metal grate that she assumed led into the elevator shaft, but was a good three feet above her head and the elevator walls were too smooth to find leverage to climb up to it. 

  
     Calming her pounding heart, Rey reminded herself that she was never truly alone. The Force was with her always. She sat cross legged on the floor of the elevator and closed her eyes in concentration. She focused on the doors of the elevator, willing them open. She felt the air vibrate with unspoken power, and heard a slight hum of energy all around her. 

  
     Just as he doors began to quiver as if trying their best to relent to her onslaught of mental attack, the elevator lurched into motion. Instead of continuing downwards towards her original destination, it shot upwards at twice it’s normal speed. The force of her ascent knocked her backwards and her head cracked on the smooth metal of the elevator floor. She groaned and reached towards the back of her head for what she assumed would be a large knot later on. The elevator continued its quick climb and she feared she was headed towards a crash into whatever ceiling capped this shaft. 

  
     As Rey had begun to fully panic, the elevator halted so quickly it shook. Rey tentatively stood from the floor where she’d been pinned by the force of the climb. Her legs shaking slightly, she backed into the corner of her now metal prison and braces herself for who or whatever was responsible for this.

  
     The doors slid open easily to reveal a hallway just like every other that she’d seen while aboard this vessel. Brightly lit, wide and composed completely of sleek metal. As far as she could see, it was completely empty. Had this been a malfunction after all? She cursed not having a blaster, or even her staff at a time like this. If she made it out of here she was going to be sure to get a weapon she could carry from Ben. 

  
     She exited the elevator, taking cautious steps down the corridor, preparing herself to anything. She wasn’t even sure what level she was on. Suddenly, she heard the ghost of a whisper. She could have sworn she had heard it inside her mind rather than audibly in the hallway. 

  
      _Ben? Is that you?_

  
     Silence. She thought maybe she had imagined it, but no, there it was again. She couldn’t make out what it was saying, but she felt it guiding her down the hall. A strange pull led her onward, and she was unable to stop herself from following. She had only felt this pull in her meetings with Ben through their bond while they’d still be apart, and later through Snoke as he had tortured her in his throne room. Did that not mean this was the workings of the Force? If so, who was wielding it? 

  
     She crept down the hallway, following the inaudible whispers ever guiding her forward. She knew she should be turning the other way and trying to find a way back to where she came, but was unable to make herself do so. She felt completely helpless to the pull of whatever or whoever was calling her. She moved forward like a machine, unable to stop her feet from taking more steps in her current direction.

  
     She saw a door at the end of the way, the only exit from this cold corridor. As she neared it whirred to life and slid open, revealing nothing but darkness. Not a single light was cast inside. She tried to force herself to turn back but her legs kept moving, her feet kept falling. Terrified, she realized finally that she was under someone’s control. Who left in the galaxy besides Ben and herself had this sort of control over the Force? 

  
     She pierced the darkness and continued forward, hearing the door slide shut behind her. After several more shaky steps she felt herself halted and forced down on her knees. She kneeled there, locked into place by this benevolent force, cursing her inability to break free. She heard a sardonic laugh break the silence, not in her mind but directly in front of her. It was then the lights blared on, blinding her momentarily after having adjusted to being in complete darkness. 

  
     There, leaning against a wide wall of sinister looking weapons and various torture instruments, was the terrifying man she had seen with Hux earlier. The dark Lieutenant Thorn. She called for Ben in her mind but found herself completely alone. She used to beg for silence, and now she might die because of it. The cold reality of her situation hit her, no one was coming to save her. Not this time. 

 

[Wildfire Soundtrack](https://open.spotify.com/user/1288719735/playlist/5YF52cl1jizo5eu2ATAvq9?si=XaNbwr2VSx6u4UZ8raMqPg) 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys- thanks for keeping up with my fic! If you are, you may not be, which is fine too.) :P I’m stoked to announce my friend gopherbroke has started uploading her Adam Driver Reader’s POV fic, “All Because of a Damn Driver’s License.” If you love Adam as much as Kylo, like I do, you need to go check it out! It’s making all my perverted little dreams come true. She’s amazing!


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This may be a little violent.. Kylo smash.  
> #oldbencantcometothephonerightnow  
> #why  
> #becausehesdead

“MONSTERS by Shinedown”

     She attempted to speak but found herself unable to do so. Again she screamed for Ben down their bond but was met only with desolate silence.

  
      “He won’t come.” Thorn mocked. “You’ll find he’s completely cut off from you at the moment.”

  
       Rey’s heart beat rapidly, worried that he had harmed Ben. Surely not, as Ben was more trained than she and how would he have had the time when he’d obviously come straight here after seeing them to put this dark plan into motion?

  
      “Ren thought he could just bring you here, and decide to tear down everything we’ve worked towards just to bed some dirty scavenger? There’s no way that can be allowed. Better to take you out of the picture quickly, I think.” He laughed again, a terrible sound.

  
      He cocked his head at her in mock confusion. “You’re so quiet. Surely you have something to say? I mean they will be your last words and all, better not waste them.” 

  
     She glared at him, her mouth still welded shut by an invisible force. 

  
      “Ah, that’s right, how rude of me. Let me fix that for you.” 

  
      Suddenly her tongue seemed to come unglued from the roof of her mouth and she found her voice had been returned to her. “How are you doing this?” Was her her first question.

  
     Thorn shrugged. “You thought you two were special? I’m sure it made you feel superior to think that the fate of the galaxy came down to you.” He laughed cruelly. 

  
     Rey’s mind spun. There were other force users? This changed everything. What’s worse, at least one, maybe more, were here on this ship with Ben. If she was struck down before she could warn him, he’d be left unaware. She centered herself and willed her pounding heart to calm. Focusing all her energy, she sent one last plea through the bond with every bit of force she could muster. She swore she could almost feel his answering presence, but it was immediately snuffed out.

  
     Thorn clicked his tongue. “Persistent. I like that. It’s futile, but admirable.”

  
     He stood then, and turned his back to her, admiring the wall littered with instruments of pain and dismemberment. He made a show of letting his hands linger in the air over different objects, as if taking pleasure in choosing one for her. 

  
     Settling on a small handheld implement that consisted of a sleek black handle that split at the end into two forked points, he turned, eyeing her gleefully. “This will do.” He said. 

  
     Rey was determined not to give him the satisfaction of showing any fear. Whatever he did to her, she would devote her last breath to ensuring she was as resilient as humanly possible. Thorn clicked a switch on the side of the device and a bright blue arc of energy sparked to life and connected between the two points. 

  
     Thorn held it out in front of him and studied the gleaming thread of light, listening to it hum and crackle. “Beautiful, isn’t it? Yet, so deadly. All the things we were lead to believe that you would be. Despite all the stories we heard of the powerful rebel girl threatening to bring down the First Order, here you are, helpless and not long for this world. Your only power was the witches spell you seem to hold on Ren. Hopefully when you’ve been disposed of he’ll see sense and continue on the path Snoke set him on, but if not, he’ll soon follow you to the next life. It makes no difference to me. Either way he won’t be our  _Supreme Leader_ for much longer.” He spat the title as if it offended him. “As if he ever was. Letting him play at ruler was a fun game for awhile, while the true work of the New Order went on underneath his nose, but now that he’s played his hand and brought you aboard this ship, it’s obvious he needs to be taken down a peg. Can’t have him mucking up all our plans.”

  
     Rey kept her voice steady. “You say _our_  plans. So, there are more than just you.”

  
     “Ah,” Thorn said mockingly. “Of course there are. Snoke wouldn’t just rest all his hopes on a broken boy like Ben Solo. Solo, Ren, whatever he calls himself, he was just a distraction. A way to beat down the hope held by those worthless Skywalkers and all their kin. If they couldn’t even protect their own blood, how could they hope to protect their precious Resistance? No. Snoke poisoned that boy from birth, twisted him, even let him think he was his most favored apprentice, but Kylo Ren was nothing to Snoke. He’s only still alive because he’s stayed useful, a fact that becomes less and less true as time wears on. With Snoke out of the picture, I’d just like to kill him and be done with it, but I guess that’s not my decision is it?”

  
     “Who’s decision is it then, Thorn? Who’s pulling _your_  strings?” Rey asked, voice laced with contempt. 

  
     Thorn sneered. “Shut your mouth, rebel bitch. I’m sincerely going to enjoy this. I’m glad it was me that got to end you.”

  
     He took a threatening step towards her, holding his chosen tool of malice towards her, letting it sit inches from her face. She felt the heat from the arc near her jawline, and the sparks coming off it hit her over and over, burning wherever they landed. Rey began to feel sweat trickle down from her hairline, sliding over her cheek. She couldn’t be sure if it was solely from the heat or the fear she was so desperately trying to hide. 

  
     “Let’s see how this feels.” Thorn said as he suddenly pressed the scorching arc directly to the skin of her jaw, causing white hot pain to bloom there. Rey gritted her teeth in silent anguish, refusing to cry out. She wouldn’t give him the gratification. 

  
     “Nothing? Maybe you’re tougher than I thought, little Jedi.” He said, smiling wickedly.   
Rey instantly thought of Ben and how he used the same endearment. Hearing it from Thorn’s mouth turned her stomach and filled her with anger. “ _Don’t call me that, you bastard._ ” She ground out through the pain.

  
     Thorn raised an eyebrow. “Struck a nerve did I? How sweet. Does Ren call you that? How delightfully adorable. I should think it would be comforting to hear it one last time, _little Jedi_.”

  
      Rey struggled against the hold that kept her still, throwing all her focus against it, but it was no use. She was barely able to jolt herself forward despite all her effort. 

  
     “Tsk.” Thorn shook his head. “You obviously have too much fire left in you. Let’s snuff that out.” With that he pressed the arc against her skin again in the opposite direction, splitting the skin in perpendicular fashion, creating an angry, bleeding cross across her jawline. “There, now they match. Isn’t that wonderful?”

  
     Rey’s breath came out in harsh puffs of air as she fought to contain her agony. The  affected skin was on fire and the pain stemmed out all around it, causing her entire face to throb. She clenched her teeth with resolve, still somehow able to keep from crying out. 

  
    Thorn sighed. “Well this is boring. Obviously this is too tame a punishment for someone of your caliber. Let’s find something more up to your speed.” 

  
     He turned the device he was holding off, and the arc of light dissipated with a hiss. He tossed it to the side and she heard it skitter across the floor and thunk against the wall behind her. He returned to the wall in front of her and began to once again peruse the selection there. 

  
     “I could cut off your hands, leave them in Ren’s quarters.. that would surely get him angry enough to attack. Surely then I would gain permission to kill him.” Thorn mused. “Or maybe I could cut out your heart? Oh, that would be just perfect. He fought so hard to win it after all.” He turned to her, his eyes filled with manic delight. “Surely even you can enjoy the irony there, can’t you?”

  
     Rey was truly terrified now. She was going to die in the room, and if Ben wasn’t soon behind her, her death would be used as a source of constant pain for him. Would he return to the dark from which he’d fought so hard to find the light? She almost hoped that he’d give in to his darkness. Better that he live on as Kylo Ren, than die Ben Solo because of her. She felt tears begin to pool at the corners of her eyes and spill down her cheeks.

  
     “ _There’s_ the reaction I wanted. Are you scared little Jedi? You should be.” He laughed terribly. He reached up and took a sinister looking blade from a hook on the wall. The edges were jagged and the end curved slightly. It was as long as her forearm. “I’ll try not to make it hurt too much, but no promises.”

  
     As he took a step toward her, Rey realized she could suddenly feel the rigid lock on her muscles loosening. She kept very still, but wiggled a toe inside her boot and found she could do so easily. Was Thorn too focused on his task to keep a hold on her?

  
      _I need you to keep him talking. I’m coming Rey._ She heard whispered in her mind.

  
     Ben! She tried to reach out to him but found only silence once more. She supposed he didn’t want Thorn to catch on that he was fighting his hold on Rey. She scrambled to think of a way to distract Thorn and give Ben time to reach her. 

  
     “Do you really think Ben will just take this quietly? Who do you think he’ll come after first, once he hears who killed me?” Rey asked as coolly as she could manage.

  
     Thorn waved her off flippantly. “Oh I have no doubts. I’m actually hoping he’ll do just that. He’s no threat to me, and if he revolts I can finally give him exactly what he deserves.”

  
     “I wouldn’t underestimate him, Thorn. I’ve seen him do great and terrible things.” She replied. 

  
     Thorn stopped his advance. “He’s a coward, and as far as I’m concerned, he’s a traitor. He let a dirty scavenger kill his master and not only did he let you live, he brought you here as an equal to bed you. He deserves death just as much as you do.” 

  
     Rey was taken aback, and it must have showed on her face because Thorn continued. “Yes, I know you killed the true Supreme Leader. You thought Hux would just keep that to himself? That little fact is half the reason I get to hurt you. Had you just been an annoyance who’d swayed Ren, I’d have just tossed you into space and let you die quickly. Thankfully, you gave me a reason to really have some fun.”  

  
     He took another step towards her, swinging the blade perilously so. “Perhaps had you just been a good little Jedi and turned just as Ren had asked, you could live and be useful. You could both have your sweet little romance for as long as you stayed obedient. Such a pity it wasn’t meant to be. I sense much promise in you, you could have been a powerful asset.” His brow furrowed and his face grew stony with anger. “It’s too bad you had to ruin it all by taking away the greatest leader the galaxy had ever seen. You. A nobody from Jakku. Oh yes, I will enjoy watching the light fade from your eyes. You’ll pay for taking the _true_  Supreme Leader from us!”

  
     Suddenly, the blast door that was sealed behind her exploded from it’s hinges and clattered against the ceiling before dropping harshly on the floor and sliding away. When the dust settled, there stood Ben, looking more terrifying than she’d ever seen him. His eyes shot to her, crazed and wild with fear. His gaze snapped back towards Thorn, who smiled wickedly. 

  
     “Ah, you found us. We weren’t done playing. This is wonderful though! Now I can get rid of two birds with one stone. I can see by the look on your face you won’t be accommodating.” Thorn said gleefully.

  
     Ben spoke, a low, terrible sound. “You have one chance to step away from her, lay down that weapon, and kneel. If you do that, maybe I will kill you quickly.”

  
     Thorn laughed loudly. “Oh, look at you, so fierce. Why, _Supreme Leader_ , you know I can’t let either of you leave this room. That would mean certain death for me as punishment, and I quite like living you see.” 

  
     Ben pulled his lightsaber from his waist and and ignited it in one movement, stomping his foot and letting it slide across the floor as he lowered into a fighting stance. “I warned you.”

  
    Thorn suddenly pulled a familiar looking handle from a hidden lining inside his uniform, igniting a blazing red lightsaber. “You’re so proud of your damaged saber. Snoke gave you a broken crystal because he knew you weren’t worthy of a whole one. I on the other hand..”   
Pressing another switch on the opposite end of the sabers handle, Thorn ignited a twin beam of energy, creating a double ended saberstaff. “You might recognize the design. Darth Maul may have failed as a Sith Lord, but his ingenuity in crystal manipulation was a feat worth repeating.”

  
      While Thorn was distracted by Ben, Rey tried to use the opportunity to catch him unaware. She leapt from her position, grabbing the discarded blade he’d dropped when he’d reached for his lightsaber, intending to do him damage before he could hurt Ben. Thorn threw out a hand and she felt herself hurled through the air before colliding with the solid metal of the wall and falling to the floor. She felt the air leave her lungs as the wind was knocked out of her, and pain instantly exploded from every facet of her body from impact. 

  
     Ben’s eyes cut to her bruised form and they seared with rage before returning to Thorn’s smiling face. “Should have taught your scavenger whore some manners, Ren.”

  
     Ben let loose a howl of rage as he leapt forward, his feet leaving the ground as he thrust his lightsaber in a downswing towards Thorn. Thorn parried and returned a swing with the opposite end of his staff. Ben leaned back, just barely avoiding contact with the saber on his face. 

  
     Ben spun around with inhuman speed and made contact with Thorn’s side with his saber. There was no blood since the saber instantly cauterized the wound, but a strong smell of burning flesh permeated the air as Thorn hissed in pain. Ben landed in a crouch with one hand bracing himself on the floor and the other held behind him balancing his saber. Rey thought he looked like a caged animal. She barely recognized him.

  
     Thorn pressed a hand to his wound, testing the damage, before returning his attention to his opponent. “Not bad, Ren. I guess I got too excited. Won’t happen again.”

  
     Ben didn't respond, merely looked at Thorn with raw hatred. His once multi faceted amber eyes had turned almost black with stormy anger. He rose once more to his full height, grasping his lightsaber with both hands and pulling it into a defensive stance. 

  
     Thorn lunged at Ben, bringing his saberstaff downwards in an attempt to knock Ben off his balance. Ben pushed Thorn back with the force, striking against his staff with his full strength. Thorn’s mocking demeanor was waning and in its place Rey saw unease begin to settle in. This was a Kylo Ren he had not seen before. A vault of raw power and rage channeled with newfound purpose to protect something he loved.  

  
     Pushing forward Ben made a move as if to openly attack Thorn but at the last second feinted and ducked beneath Thorn’s answering swing to move behind him. He swept a leg beneath Thorn’s knocking him off balance, and quickly connected his elbow to the back of Thorn’s skull, causing him to sink to his knees. Thorn’s saberstaff fell from his grip and skittered across the floor, the twin beams of light receding. 

  
     Wasting no time, Ben grabbed Thorn’s hair by the roots, jerking him backwards and holding his saber to his throat. Thorn sneered up at him, daring him to get it over with. Ben glanced at the weapon in his hand, and after a moment shook his head and let the saber fall to the floor. “Too quick.” Was all he said, barely above a whisper but full of anger.

  
     Ben then reared his arm back and then let his fist connect soundly with Thorn’s teeth.  He proceeded to hit him again and again, until blood began to spew from Thorn’s mouth. Ben’s gloved hand grew slick with gore, and when Thorn began to make gargled pleas Ben used the force to throw him backwards into the wall that housed the instruments of torture he’d gushed over earlier. 

  
     The force of Thorn connecting with the wall caused the sinister weapons to fall from their resting places and clatter all around them. A heavy knife fell and landed directly into the flesh of Thorn’s thigh, causing him to cry out in pain. Ben stalked over to him with purpose and wrapped his hand around Thorn’s throat.

   
     “I want you to know something, before you die. Rey did not take your Leader from you. _I did._ I struck him down with the saber my grandfather built. The one my uncle carried, and Rey after him. He may have thought I was nothing, but in the end, _I made him nothing_. Now I’ll do the same to you, to whoever you’re in league with, and anyone else who would think of taking her from me. You’ll die as _nothing_ , just like your precious _Supreme Leader_.”

  
     Ben squeezed tightly around Thorn’s windpipe, crushing it. Thorn’s face purpled and the capillaries in his eyes began to burst. Blood ran from his nostrils and after much struggling, he grew still. Ben stood there for several moments, hand still wrapped around Thorn’s neck, staring into his now lifeless eyes. 

  
     Rey, fighting to keep conscious, stared after him in quiet dismay. She was almost afraid to call out to him. She’d never seen him like this, not even when she considered him an enemy. He was truly terrifying to behold. The pain in her head and body was great however, and she found herself instinctively whispering his name.

  
     He immediately jerked his head toward her, eyes still wild and breathing erratic. After several seconds he released his hold on Thorn and slowly walked toward her, hands open palmed in front of him in an act of allayment. Kneeling beside her, he gently lifted her from the floor, pulling her into his lap and cradling her. 

  
     “Are you alright?” He choked out. 

  
     “Everything hurts.. but I think I’ll live.” She replied woefully.

  
     “I-“ He started, voice wrought with anguish. “I should have went with you.”

  
     Rey reached up to place a hand on his cheek, and he immediately leaned into her touch. “This is not your fault, don’t do that. You saved me, Ben.”

  
     He brushed a clump of hair from her face, causing her to wince when it connected with the welting wound Thorn had left on her jaw. “How bad is it?” She asked.

  
     Examining it with a look of pure sadness, he answered softly, “It will scar I’m afraid.” 

  
     She laughed softly, letting a finger trace the scar across his face. “Hey, we’ll match.”

  
     Ben attempted to smile but in his misery it just looked pained. Rey felt herself slipping into unconsciousness as the pain began to become too much to bear. “Ben..” She whispered. “Thorn wasn’t the only one...”

  
     “Shhh.” He answered. “We’ll worry about it when you’re well. I won’t fail you again. You’ll be safe. Rest now, my little Jedi.”

  
     She smiled as she slipped into the darkness, thankful that she once again got to hear the endearment from his mouth. Grateful that Thorn hadn’t been able to taint her feelings towards it. She let herself succumb to the fatigue caused by the stress on her body and slept. 

 

[Wildfire Soundtrack](https://open.spotify.com/user/1288719735/playlist/5YF52cl1jizo5eu2ATAvq9?si=m9a5_Vp2Ti6G7CyPqAD2HA)

 

 


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is carrying on so much longer than I ever intended, but once I started writing their story the way I wanted it I found it hard to stop until I see every one of my wishlist items checked off. It’s been awhile since Rey and Ben got, erm, biblical. So here’s a nice fluff chapter. The smut before the storm if you will. *hides in embarrassment at my own mind*

“I Am Not Afraid Anymore by Halsey”

     Rey awoke to a stinging sensation on her jaw. She jerked upwards into a sitting position knocking the med droid away from her with the back of her hand. The droid raised its metallic arms upwards in a defensive position, and began beeping at her irritably. A full length mirror hung on the wall across from the metal table she laid on, and she saw that the flayed skin caused by Thorn’s torture device was almost completely sewn shut, leaving two long, thin scars overlapping in a cross shape.

  
     “It’s almost done.” She heard from the corner. Turning her head, she saw Ben sitting in a chair with his chin resting on his hands. He watched her with sorrowful eyes as he spoke again. “Lie down, it’ll be over in just a few more minutes.”

  
     She laid back down and turned her face away from the droid, allowing it to continue its task of sealing her wound. “Are you okay?” She asked Ben.

  
     He raked a hand over his face in frustration. “You’re asking if _I’m_ okay?”

  
     “Well, yes, I am. I was in and out there for a bit, Thorn didn’t hurt you did he?” She asked again.

  
     “Rey.. I’m completely fine. That’s not the issue here. I told you no one would ever hurt you again, and as soon as I have you at my side I allow this to happen. I’m a failure.” Ben said, hanging his head.

  
     She bit her lip against the sharp sting of the droid finishing up, and kept quiet. She didn’t want to have this conversation like this, so far away from each other and not even able to look at him. She let the droid finish and slowly sat up as it exited the bay they were currently hiding out in. 

  
     Curious, she asked, “Are we safe here?”  
Ben nodded solemnly. “For now at least. I’m focusing a great deal of energy on masking our location from the ship’s life form scanner. This wing is currently abandoned due to repairs. It took damage during a rebel skirmish. No one comes down here.”

  
     “Who do you think commanded Thorn, Hux?” She asked.

  
     Ben looked up at the ceiling, lost in thought. “He’s the obvious choice, but I’m having a hard time believing he’s skilled in the ways of the Force. I can’t fathom that in all the time I’ve known him I wouldn’t have at least suspected. Plus, he’s not smart enough to devise a plan like this. I don’t know how involved he is in all this. Does he believe himself to be the puppet master? Or is he an unknowing puppet?”

  
     Rey chewed on her bottom lip as she mulled over Ben’s words. Hux was the obvious choice, but like Ben, she was almost certain he couldn’t be a Force user. “Will we confront him?”

  
     Ben cut his eyes to her sharply. “ _I_  will at least.”

  
     Rey jumped off the examination table and stalked over to him. “Excuse me? If you think I’d let you do something as dangerous as confronting someone who may have attempted to orchestrate one or both of our deaths _alone_ because of some misguided feelings of blame, you’re mistaken.”

  
     Now standing in front of him, Ben looked up at her, his face hard. He stood then, rising to his full height and then looking down at her, staring into her eyes. He placed his hands on her shoulders and said, “If _you_  think I’m going to allow you be in harms way again and potentially _lose_ you, then _you’re_ mistaken.”

  
     He reached up towards her face and traced a finger softly across the now mostly healed mark on her jaw. “This is my fault, Rey. I don’t think you know what seeing it does to me.”

  
     She grabbed his hand and held it in her own, reaching upwards to trace her thumb down the jagged scar that rested across his face. “I know _exactly_ what it does, Ben. I know because I feel it every time I look at you. If there is blame to be had, it is shared by us both. We’ve both made choices we regret, mistakes we wish we could take back, but we’re still here together. We’re both alive and as long as that’s true we can’t waste that time being afraid of losing each other. We have to enjoy the time we’re given right now.”

  
     Ben leaned forward, letting his forehead rest against hers. “How can you still want me? You’ve been so unsure and now you’ve seen me at my absolute worst. I killed Thorn with my bare hands, I _enjoyed_  killing him. I was the monster you once claimed that I am. Aren’t you afraid of me?“

  
     She heard the plea in his voice. She heard the uncertainty caused by a lifetime of doubt, loneliness and mistrust. Her heart mourned for the boy within the man who still yearned for acceptance. “Ben, I told you, when no one else in the galaxy wants you..  _I will_. No matter what you’ve done. I’ve seen you walk into the dark and come right back to me. You didn’t fail me Ben, you _saved_ me. You need to believe that. If not for you I would be dead. I love you, as Ben, as Kylo, as whoever you choose to be. I’ve seen all your sides and _I am not afraid anymore._ ”

  
     He shook his head, turning away from her. “You say that now, but you’ll leave. Everyone always leaves me.”

  
     Her heart broke for him as he laid his insecurities at her feet. She knew how hard it must be for him to voice his fears out loud. He prided himself on being resilient and without weakness. She took a step and leaned into the broad expanse of his back, letting her arms snake around him and pull him close. “I will never leave you. I promise you, Ben.”

  
     He stood unmoving for a few seconds before reaching up and resting his hands atop hers at his waist. She felt him release a pent up breath as he allowed himself to believe her promises. They stood embracing each other for several moments before he turned around to face her again, eyes dark with purpose.

  
     “How are your wounds?” He asked.

  
     She prodded her bruised ribs in a probing manner and found them tender but otherwise manageable. “I’ve been better, but I’ve also been worse.” 

  
     “Good.” Was all he said before quickly scooping her up and cradling her into his arms. He made way for the door of the med bay and hurriedly exited with her still in tow.

   
     “What are you doing?” She asked.

  
     “Taking you somewhere more suitable.” Was his reply.

  
     “Suitable for what?” She responded.

  
     He offered her a heavy look saying, “Today I almost lost you, before the day is out we could both perish at the hands of an unseen enemy, and you just promised to always stay with me. I haven’t had you since yesterday, and if I’m not inside you again soon I may lose my mind.”

  
     Rey’s pulse immediately quickened at his words, her breath catching. She glanced around at the same hallway that lined every inch of this ship and wondered where he was taking her. Reading her thoughts he replied, “Someplace familiar.”

  
     He rounded a corner and brought them to a steel blast door, typing a code into the keypad. The door slid to the side and he rushed inside, setting her gently on her feet. Harsh overhead lights flicked on, brightly piercing the darkness of the room and revealing their surroundings. 

  
     Rey looked around and indeed found herself in a familiar setting. The room was mostly empty save for a vertical metallic gurney in the center of the room loaded down with harnesses and straps. This room was identical to the one she’d awoken to find herself in after Ben had captured her and brought her aboard the ship to interrogate her.   
She wheeled around and gave him a curious look. “ _Here_?”

  
     He nodded slowly, his face reflecting his anticipation of her reaction. “You said you aren’t afraid anymore. I want to see if that’s true.” He took a step towards her, grabbing her by the wrist and pulling her to him. “Do you trust me?” He asked softly.

  
     Rey’s heart was still racing in her chest, pounding against her ribs so hard she could almost swear she heard it beating.   
She searched her feelings and found no fear to be had towards Ben. Where before she’d been uncertain now she only felt peace in her decision to trust him. Was it because he’d saved her from death when she’d given up all hope? Or simply because she had realized that no matter what he was he would always be whatever she needed him to be? Regardless, she found herself nodding up at him, giving him all the permission he needed.

  
     Ben reached beneath her in one fell swoop, using his other arm to pull her upwards into his arms once more. He carried her to the center of the room where the slab await and gently laid her against it. His own breathing grew heavy as he began to quietly strap her wrists into the restraints. She watched him expectantly in anticipation.

  
     “So why here?” She asked quietly.

  
     Without looking up at her he paused for a moment as he continued to buckle the leather strap holding her wrist in place. “I suppose.. because the last time I had you here I was at war with myself. I look back now and realize I wanted you even then. For a long time after that day I fantasized about a time when I could bring you back here...” He shrugged. “This may be my last chance.” He snuck a furtive glance at her, gauging her reaction.

  
     She swallowed heard, surprised to find herself just as excited as he was. She remembered that day. She recalled the moment he’d removed his helmet, and she’d expected to be met by a monster and found herself face to face with a young, handsome man who made her feel confused. She had hated him then, but underneath the fear and resentment she’d been conditioned to feel, she’d felt a thread of something else. Some force that had drawn her to him.

  
     “I told you then, not to be afraid, that I felt it too.” He continued. “I meant it more than I could have known at the time. I still do.” He finished his task of fastening her wrist restraints and grinned at her wickedly. “If you behave, I’ll leave your ankles free.”

  
     He left her there as he strode over to a set of panels inlaid into a small work table in the corner. He typed a series of commands into the keypad, causing the room to omit a low whirring sound followed by a dimming of the lights.

  
     “What did you do?” She asked.

  
     “I disconnected this area from the main power grid and converted it to emergency power. No one will be able to access the coms to this room, and it is now disconnected from the ship’s life form scanner. I’d like to focus all my attention elsewhere.” He said as he finished his task.

  
     He undid the ties that fastened his tunic, and then swiftly pulled it over his head. Then, leaning into the work table for balance, he pulled off his boots one by one, leaving him standing in nothing but his pants. Knowing he wore nothing underneath them caused Rey’s skin to flush with heat as what felt like a horde of Carrier Butterflies flitted about in her stomach. She didn’t think she would ever tire of seeing him undressed.

  
     One side of Ben’s mouth went up in that half grin of his she loved. “For the record, I thoroughly enjoy the fact that you like looking at me.” He smirked.

  
     She huffed. “If my hands were free I would smack you.”

  
     He laughed softly as he stalked towards her. “Let’s even things up.” He said as he unknotted the cloth belt at her waist that held her black over-tunic robe together. Underneath was only a thinner under-tunic that was folded closed also in robe style, and without the assistance of the sash he’d just undone, it fell slightly open, revealing a sliver of skin that began at her collarbone and ended at the waist band of her pants. 

  
     Breathing heavily, Ben pulled at one of his dark gloves with his teeth, baring his hand. He traced a finger from her neck down to her navel, leaving a path of fire in her skin in its wake. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything as enticing as you look right now.” He said breathily. He pulled at his other glove to free his other hand. Leaning forward, he placed a soft kiss to her breastbone as he let his fingers slide beneath the hems of her robes and part them further, baring her breasts to him. 

  
     He slid a hand deeper into her robes and gently caressed her bruised side. She gave a small wince, causing him to look up at her. “Are you sure you’re alright?” He asked.

  
     She nodded. “If you think you’re stopping this now you’re wrong.”

  
     He smiled, his eyes dark. “I’ll be gentle.”

  
     She met his gaze, saying, “Not too gentle I hope.”

  
     Ben groaned in reply and returned his attention to her chest. He placed hot kisses across the skin there, tasting it with his tongue. He gripped her waist in his large hands, so large his fingers could almost touch as they encircled her. Her chest heaved under the touch of his lips and tongue, but that didn’t deter him. Continuing, he pulled her nipple into his mouth, letting his tongue glide over the taut peak before nibbling it gently with his teeth.

  
     Rey gasped at the sensation of pleasure and pain his teeth brought, and found herself wishing she could run her hands through his hair and pull him closer. “ _Ben_ ,” she whined. “My hands..” She pulled at the restraints to assert her intent.

  
     “Shh..” He breathed around the nipple he was still assaulting, causing pleasure to erupt anew. Sliding his hands into the hem of her pants, he toyed with the edge of her underwear. 

  
     “I hate these.” He growled.

  
     She chuckled. “Not everyone is brave enough to just nix their undergarments.”

  
     “You like it. Don’t forget I’m privy to your thoughts, little Jedi.” He smirked.

  
     Rolling her eyes, she said, “A fact that never ceases to plague me.”

  
     “You’re showing a lot of nerve for a prisoner.. I think I’m being too lenient.” He replied.

  
     He hooked his fingers into the fabric and pulled, removing her pants and underwear in one motion. When they caught at the top of her boots, he grabbed them by the heel and relieved her of those too, not stopping until she was naked from the waist down.

  
     For a moment he just stared at her hungrily, which by all accounts should have made her feel embarrassed, but as it were only made her feel powerful. That the powerful Kylo Ren could be brought to a standstill by the mere sight of her, it was a heady feeling.

  
     “It should,” he said, answering her thoughts as always. “No one in the galaxy has a hold on me like you do. Nor will they ever.”

  
     As he leaned into the crook of her neck to let his lips glide over the skin there, he let a hand part her thighs and slide between the slick folds at their junction. She was already impossibly wet for him, her muscles coiled painfully with need. He pushed two fingers into her, curling them to stroke her inner walls. Her mouth fell open in a silent cry as she felt the familiar burning she’d come to crave. 

  
     He pressed his thumb over the hot center above her opening and began to stroke it rapidly. Her hips bucked into his hand, her body a slave to the sensations he was inciting.  
“Ben..” she pleaded. “More.”

  
     He pulled his lips from her neck and his breath came out in ragged huffs. “Greedy?”

  
     Her own chest rose and fell with labored breath as she replied. “For you, always.”

  
     His eyes burned into hers before roughly covering her mouth with his own. He ground the palm of his hand into her core, chasing her orgasm as if his life depended on it. Swiftly rubbing it round and round as she felt her climax begin to build.

  
     Before the final moment however, Ben ceased all attention to her with his hands and quickly dropped to his knees in front of her. He mercilessly assaulted her sex with his lips and tongue, holding her hips with his hands to ensure she was helpless against the sensual onslaught. The urge to grip his wild hair as she watched his head move savagely between her legs became overwhelming.

  
     Her mind foggy with pleasure, she pulled at her restraints with all the force she could muster. She found herself calling upon her power to aid her in finding relief. She heard the buckles groan and creak against the otherworldly pressure she had set against it. In one swift motion the bolt holding down the base of the restraint shot outwards and pinged against the wall, allowing her freedom in her right hand. She thrust it into Ben’s hair and pulled him as close to her center as he could physically be, lost in sensation.

  
     He continued to devour her like a man starved, his cheeks hollowing as he sucked with abandon, spearing her with his tongue. She felt the fire consume her from the inside out, a glorious pressure that reached new heights. When Ben grazed his teeth over the tight bud of nerves, she was pushed over the edge of pleasure and was washed away in its current. Bright flashes of color bloomed in her vision as her orgasm exploded within her. Her thighs shook around Ben’s now retreating face as he watched her climax overtake her.

  
     He slowly brought himself back up to his full height, pressing chaste kisses across her skin as he traveled back up to her face. Her body still shook with the aftermath of the pleasure he’d caused, and each kiss caused her to jump against his mouth. When he was again looking into her eyes, he pressed his forehead to hers and idly pulled at the tattered remains of the restraint she’d destroyed.

  
     “Seems I underestimated the force of your desire.” He said, grinning.

  
     Rey could only peer at him crankily with narrowed eyes, too boneless to speak.

  
     “I hope you don’t think you’re done here.” He said forcibly. “Not even close, my little Jedi.”

  
     He reached between them, pushing  down his trousers and freeing his member from its cloth restraints. He rocked into her, sliding himself between her folds, letting the head rub against her core. Despite feeling utterly spent, she felt her skin begin to heat once more, filling her up with the wildfire only Ben could ignite. She gasped softly, which he caught with his own mouth, kissing her fiercely.

  
     He used his free hand to expertly undo the restraint holding her other hand in place, freeing her completely. She immediately wound both arms around his neck as he simultaneously gripped her hips and rammed into her. The gentle Ben from their previous escapade was nowhere to be found, but she was anything but displeased. Her inner muscles stretched to the point of almost pain, but quickly gave way to pleasure.

  
     Rey’s hands gripped the hair at the nape of Ben’s neck, forcing him to deepen their kiss. They were a frenzy of tongue and teeth, pouring all the pent up worry they held towards the future into their lovemaking. Ben continued to pound into her, filling her over and over again. Their bodies were slick now with sweat and the room was filled with the sounds of their rapid breathing and the collision of their bodies.

  
     When Ben used his grip on her to angle her, allowing him to go even deeper, her neck arched with a will of its own as she clenched her eyes so tight they hurt. She felt her orgasm building again, powerful and all consuming. Ben reached between them and stroked her feverishly, hastening her release. “That’s it, Rey.” He rasped. “Come for me.”

  
     His voice sent her spiraling into the haze of her climax as she saw stars. She roughly bit into his shoulder, seeking some escape from the assault of sensation that was overtaking her. Ben cried out in surprise, which quickly melted into a groan as his own release found him. He clutched her tightly, shaking as he held them together, his arousal spilling out of him as he continued to make short thrusts.

  
     When they were both spent, Ben cradled her head in his hand and pulled her in for a gentle kiss. He nibbled on her bottom lip lovingly before releasing her and helping her down from the angled platform. Rey, still only half coherent, ran a lazy hand across his chest in reverent attention. “Well,” she asked softly. “Was that everything you wanted?”

  
     “That was..” he started, sighing contently, “that was more than even my grandest fantasies could even conjure up.”

  
     Rey found herself giggling. “Given my inexperience, I’d have to say that I agree.”

  
     He grinned boyishly, a site so rare but so fantastic she locked it in her memories for future access. Ben gathered up their their scattered clothes, and handed Rey her things. They dressed in silence, the happy cloud of their lovemaking beginning to thin as dread at what awaited them began to set in.

  
     “We could just run for it.” Rey said quietly.

  
     Ben sighed. “If we do that, we’ll always be living in fear. Never knowing who hunts us until it’s too late.”

  
     “I’m afraid, Ben. I’m afraid of losing you.” She whispered, hanging her head.

  
     He gathered her up in his arms, her face pressing into his chest as his own rested atop her head. “I know, but we have to do this. We’re stronger together, and we can take anything this universe throws at us. But Rey... if things start to look bad-”

  
     “No.” She said, cutting him off. “Don’t you tell me to run if it gets hairy right after telling me we’re stronger together. Don’t even think about it. I’m with you Ben, until the very end.”

  
     She felt him shake his head against her. “My brave little Jedi. Alright. To the end. Rey, if that happens to be today, and I pray to whatever Gods are listening that it isn’t. Just know that this time with you I’ve been granted has been the happiest of my entire life, and if I die today, I die with no regrets.”

  
     She felt her eyes well up with silent tears as she whispered, “Me too Ben, me too.”

  
     He pressed one more kiss to her temple before taking her by the hand and pulling her to the exit. Opening the blast door, he said, “Well, it’s now or never. Are you ready?”

  
     She nodded, strengthening her resolve as she replied, “As I’ll ever be.”

 

[Wildfire Soundtrack](https://open.spotify.com/user/1288719735/playlist/5YF52cl1jizo5eu2ATAvq9?si=QHjPcUDNTiCZh-XsAEyTOg)

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ..are you sweating? I’m sweating. *fans self*


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you’re still with me, thank you. <3

“Walk Through the Fire by Zayde Wølf ft. Ruelle”

 

 

 

     Rey somberly followed Ben down the sleek corridor, her mind focused on the task ahead. Facing Hux would mean he and those pulling his strings would no longer have any reason to hide behind their smokescreen. She was unsure that only the two of them could walk away from such an encounter alive. 

 

     “That reminds me.” Ben muttered, reaching into his tunic. “You’ll need this”

 

     He turned and handed her the same lightsaber that had been wielded by Thorn. She let out a small gasp as her eyes snapped up to Ben’s. “Is that...?”

 

     He nodded. “At least now you won’t be unarmed. I wish I had the time to help you master wielding it..”

 

     “I’ll manage.” She said, gingerly taking the saber hilt from him and then tucking it into her robes.

 

     “Of that I have no doubt.” He replied, smiling softly.

 

     They reached the elevator lift and climbed inside. Ben reached out and entered a series of codes into the keypad on the wall which caused them to lurch upwards. Ben was quiet as they went, lost in thought. 

 

     “Do you think they know we’re coming?” Rey asked.

 

     Ben shrugged. “It’s possible. I adequately disposed of Thorn’s body, they’ll never find it. Though if there is another Force user already on the ship then it’s possible they’ve sensed his death.”

 

     “Where does this let out?” Rey asked, gesturing around her.

 

     “Loading dock.” He answered. “I’ve been tuned in to the com systems, Hux was called there by a landing officer. I have to assume command of the situation. If I can imply that he may have had Thorn make an attempt on my life, I can have him apprehended. Take him below and find out what he knows, by force if necessary.”

 

     Rey nodded. “Sounds easy enough.”

 

     Ben glanced at her thoughtfully. “We’ll see.”

 

     She reached across the space and took his hand, squeezing it in reassurance. “We can do this Ben, don’t worry.”

 

     “I’m not worried for me.” He admitted.

 

     “I’m not some frail thing. One of these days I’ll be the one to save _you_. Just you wait.” She grinned.

 

     He shook his head in disbelief, smiling faintly back at her. “Sure, Rey.”

 

     She made to argue, but it was then that the elevator slowed to a stop. The doors slid open to a wide open area with rows upon rows of various crates and assorted items. Rey looked around as they stepped out, confused. There wasn’t a soul to be seen, which was strange because normally on a loading dock there would be workers attending the area. 

 

     “Where is everyone?” Rey asked. 

 

     Kylo eyed the area warily. “I’m not sure.. something isn’t right.”

 

     He motioned for her to follow, and made his way around a row of speeder bikes, making towards a particularly large stack of wooden crates.

 

     “Ben, where are we-” She was cut off when she walked straight into his back, him having stopped walked abruptly. “What is it?”

 

     Rey came around from behind him and gasped at what he’d found. Even in death Hux’s face looked strained, never quite relaxed. His crumpled form had been thrown into a large crate with considerable force, shattering the stiff wood. His neck was spattered with dark bruises and was twisted at an odd angle. Someone had murdered him and left him here to be found.

 

     “Damn. I’d always wished it could have been me.” Ben muttered.

 

     “Who would have done this?” Rey asked.

 

     “Someone calculating. They cleared out this area and left him here for us to find.” He suddenly whipped his head around, staring off behind them towards the blast doors leading out of the room. He grabbed her hand and pulled her in the opposite direction, towards the South exit. 

 

     “Ben, what is it?” She asked, glancing behind them.

 

     “I was wrong. We have to run. They’re coming.” He demanded.

 

     “Who?” She questioned.

 

     “ _All of them_.” He threw back at her. “I can sense them, they’re coming for us. Thane is with them, he-”

 

     They heard the blast doors whir open and the sounds of hundreds of marching feet pour out of behind them. Rey watched over her shoulder as throngs of Stormtroopers entered the area, filing down the aisles of cargo in an attempt to corner them. 

 

     “Don’t stop, Rey. The hangar is just through those doors.” He ground out, still pulling her along as fast as he could. 

 

     Several blaster shots sounded out in the open space and just barely missed Rey’s head. She felt the bolt crackle near her ear as it flew past her, burning into the wall ahead. Ben spun around in a rage, shoving Rey behind him. He pulled his lightsaber from his waist and lit it furiously. 

 

     The crowd of soldiers parted and Thane calmly stepped forward, his face cold and emotionless. He let his gaze pass over Rey briefly before meeting Ben’s gaze.

 

     “Ren.” He said, his voice as empty as the void of space itself. 

 

     Ben did not answer, simply gripped Rey tighter from behind him with his free hand. 

 

     Thane continued. “You’ve betrayed us, Ren. First Thorn, now the General? You’ve let the scavenger turn you. _Weaken_  you. Now you’ve went and forced our hand. You’re not fit to lead.”

 

     “It’s you.” Ben said with contempt. “You did this.”

 

     “Of course I did.” Thane said evenly, the brow over his one visible eye raising in question. “You murdered two of your officers in the name of your little whore’s cause, didn’t you?” 

 

     Ben let out a savage sound, his eyes filled with rage. “You’ll die for this.”

 

     Thane smiled then, the action giving him a crazed look that was just short of terrifying. “You first, I think.”

 

     Thane made a motion to the soldiers, shouting, “Ren is no longer in command, he has turned against the Order! You will follow me now.” He thrust a finger in the direction Ben and Rey were standing. “ _Kill them_.”

 

     The soldiers immediately leapt into action, advancing towards them. Ben thrust an arm out, using his power to sweep over a dozen of them into a stack of crates, pummeling them right through them. “Rey,” he started. “You have to go, there’s too many.”

 

     “I’ll do no such thing. Till the end, Ben. Remember?” She stepped out from his shadow, reaching into her robes to retrieve Thorn’s saber. She brought it to life in her hands, the twin blades screeching to life and reaching their full height. She tested the weight, finding it similar in balance to her own staff she’d left on Tatooine. She whirled it over her head, bringing it behind her in a defensive stance. She looked at Ben and gave him a decisive nod. He returned it and together they charged into the advancing cloud of Stormtroopers. 

 

     Rey separated from him, leaping up onto a stack near her to gain leverage. Reaching the peak, she jumped down into the center of an unsuspecting cluster of soldiers, swinging the saber staff in a wide sweep. She cut down three with that first move, taking out a fourth by whirling and plunging the end through his chest plate. She glanced at Ben through an opening, he’d just cut down a trooper, holding a spray of blaster bolts at bay to his left, stopped by the invisible wall he’d erected with his power. He sent them upwards into the ceiling and continued on through the wall of soldiers. 

 

     Returning her attention to her own fight, she pushed ahead, dodging a shot from a blaster and then cutting down the shooter at the legs. Another sweep of her staff brought down two more that had come up behind her, attempting to pin her down. Her eyes scanned the battle for Thane, trying to locate him. He was nowhere to be seen, having seemingly retreated to a safer location. 

 

     Rey glanced to her left, seeing the row of speeder bikes they’d passed coming in. She ran towards them and hopped up alongside the start panel. She fired it up, holding the emergency brake up while she wedged the accelerator down to full throttle, concentrating her power onto the mechanism. She released the brake, willing the accelerator to hold, and hopped out of its way as it sped off towards a cluster of Stormtroopers.

 

     The bike crashed into them with a sickening sound, dragging them rapidly into a row of large fuel drums. The collision of the overcharged speeder bike into the drums caused a blaze to erupt, which lit the area as fire climbed up the wall and spilled out over the ceiling. Rey was thrown back by the force of the blast, and slid across the floor into a crate. 

 

     Adrenaline coursing through her veins, she immediately pulled herself up from the floor, ignoring her screaming muscles. She whirled around, searching for Ben, only to find he was pinned down by at least three dozen soldiers. He lashed out furiously, slicing his way through them, while blasting them away with the Force. Their eyes connected and he spun, cutting himself an opening. He ran to meet her, and she quickened her pace to get to him.

 

     Suddenly, as Ben was distracted, a stray blaster bolt cut through the air. Rey watched in what seemed like slow motion as the bolt went right for Ben. She screamed out to him, but it was too late. The bolt tore through his side, the force of the impact slamming him to his knees. She sprinted at full force, falling to her knees beside him. 

 

     The bolt had went straight through him, blood pouring from the wound. He gripped his side roughly with his glove, attempting to staunch the bleeding. With no time to rest, she saw the soldiers advancing from their position. Rage like Rey had never known before coursed through her. She felt raw energy crackle around her, filling her up and spilling out of her like liquid fire. 

 

     She lashed out, her power slamming into every bit of the area that she could touch with her energy. She pulled down stacks of crates, crushing errant soldiers below. She whipped her head around, focusing on the two remaining speeder bikes, lifting them with her power and throwing them into another row of fuel drums.  

 

     Fire exploded from the impact and bloomed outward, swallowing up dozens of Stormtroopers. Flicking her gaze upwards, she focused all her might in the ceiling above them, willing it to bend to her will. The steel began to buckle and break under the pressure of her strength, cracking and crumbling to the floor below. Several Stormtroopers were crushed and those that remained scrambled for cover. 

 

     Taking advantage of the chaos, Rey focused her attention back to Ben. She was a beast of instinct now, her sole purpose was getting him out of here. She wrenched him upwards, throwing his arm around her shoulders.

 

     “Can you walk?” She shouted at him over the commotion. 

 

     “Yes. Head for that door, we have to get to the Silencer. They won’t be able to catch us if we can make it to hyperspace.” He said weakly. 

 

     She pulled him close, assisting him as they made their way as quickly as they could towards the exit of the Loading Dock. Reaching the door, he typed in the access code that let them through, his hand shaking. They had to hurry.

 

     She spotted his ship near the West wall,  and they made a break for it. She could hear soldiers in pursuit behind them, and it was only moments before blaster bolts began to shoot by them. Ben thrust out his hand, attempting to stop the bolts, but cringed at the effort. A thin line of blood trickled out of his mouth and ran down his chin. His wound was more serious than he let on. Rey drug him faster, darting between vehicles and small vessels to reach the Silencer.

 

     Reaching the vessel, she climbed up to the hatch and reached to assist Ben in hoisting himself up to meet her. He groaned in pain at the effort, clenching his teeth. Between the two of them, they were able to climb down into his ship. He collapsed on the floor behind the cockpit, his large frame filling the small space. She wasted no time in climbing into the captains chair as he ground out commands for firing up the ship. 

 

     She followed his instructions diligently, first booting up the ship’s shields, staving off the spray of blaster fire that had begun to pelt them from the outside. When that was done, she quickly lifted the ship from its perch and sped out over the floor of the hangar. 

 

     She grabbed the trigger mechanism, steering the ship’s weapons towards the row of enemy ships lining the opposite wall and opened fire, rendering them unfit for pursuit. Satisfied, Rey pushed the accelerator into the maximum position and sped out of the hangar. A few errant TIE fighters spilled out behind them, and blasts rained down around them. 

 

     Rey rolled the ship to avoid their fire, whipping around in her chair. “Ben!” No answer. His eyes were closed. “ _BEN_!” 

 

     Her shout caused him to jolt, the action making him wince. He turned his head towards her. “Are we still alive?” He asked wearily. 

 

     “Barely,” she responded, exasperated. “Ben, I don’t know where we are! I need the coordinates to Geonosis from our location. It’s our only chance!”

 

     Ben let his head fall back against the floor. “We can’t go there.”

 

     “ _Ben_ , we don’t have time for this! You won’t last long. We _have_  to.” She pleaded. 

 

     “They won’t help us, Rey. They might even lock you up.” He said quietly.

 

     A blast from an enemy pursued slammed into their shield, knocking the Silencer off course. “ _Ben_.” She begged.

 

     He gave her a pained look, and then softly told her what she wanted to know. Wasting no time, she entered the coordinates to the rebel base, and quickly fired up the hyperdrive. It was only moments before she felt the Silencer lurch forward and slip into the stream of warp space. She glanced at Ben again, his eyes now closed and his breathing labored. 

 

     “ _Hold on_.” She begged him. “Just a little longer, Ben.” She said a silent prayer to whoever might be listening, pleading with anyone to save him. The blast had to have hit either an artery or an organ, the blood pouring out of him steadily despite him focusing his energy on staunching the flow. He was too weak to hold it off completely, and she was too unskilled to assist him. They needed a healer _fast_.

 

     It was a half hour later before they dropped out of hyperdrive, the large, brown planet coming into view. Ben was on the brink of unconsciousness, his breath coming out in ragged drags that took every bit of his body to expel. She sped towards the planets surface, breaking through the atmosphere in what was a considerable rough entry. She pushed the Silencer as fast as it could possibly go, speeding across the planets face towards the entrance to the mines. 

 

     She saw the cave mouth coming into view a few clicks ahead, and raced towards it like it were a lighthouse in the midst of a storm. When she was just upon it, she hastily began to slow their approach, sliding into the entrance as she decreased their speed to come to a stop. She landed the Silencer roughly in her haste, pulling off her harnesses and flying out of the seat to reach Ben. 

 

     She pulled his large body into a sitting position, attempting to drag him out of the hatch. She strained against his weight, but with him now too weak to aid her it was useless. She screamed in frustration before throwing open the hatch and climbing out, eager to find someone to assist her. 

 

     A crowd had gathered outside the Silencer, and dozens of weapons were now pointed directly at her. A familiar face stood out amongst them, and he slowly lowered his blaster, disbelief painting his features. 

 

     “Rey?” Poe said incredulously.

 

     “ _Poe_.” She begged, jumping to the ground. “You’ve got to help us. He’ll die. I need a healer. I need _anyone_. Please, Poe. _Don’t let him die_.”

 

     Tears burned her vision and spilled out over her cheeks. Sobs wracked her chest, causing her to shake as she broke down from the stress of all that had just occurred. She fell to her knees, weeping. Poe ran for her, scooping her up and holding her in front of him by the shoulders. 

 

     “Rey, calm down! What’s going on?” He asked.

 

     “It’s Ben, he’s wounded. We were ambushed. We only just got away. He’ll _die_.” She sputtered between sobs.

 

     Poe glanced at the ship behind them. “Ren’s in there?” He shook his head. “Damn it, Rey. You brought him _here_?”

 

     “I _had_ to Poe. I had to. _Please_.” She pleaded. “ _Help him_.”

 

     Poe blew out an exasperated breath. “I’m going to regret this..” He muttered. He turned and began to shout commands, ordering two men to enter the ship and retrieve Ben. 

 

     Rey watched as they pulled him out, his head lolling. He was now completely unconscious, and pale, _so pale_. She moved to run to him, but Poe grabbed her wrist. “Rey, I’ll get him to the healer. You have my word.”

 

     She attempted to wrench free from his grip, but he held on. “I have to go with him.”

 

     Poe looked pained. “I can’t let you do that, Rey. Your loyalty is still in question. I have to.. I’ve got to detain you until we can speak with the General.”

 

     Rey huffed in frustration, watching as the men carried Ben off towards the med bay. “Where is she?” She shouted. “Let me talk to her! She’ll listen to me.”

 

     Poe shook his head. “She’s not here. Off world, meeting with potential new allies.”

 

     “Poe, I _have_  to go with Ben.” She urged.

 

     He ran a hand over his face and sighed deeply. “I’m sorry, Rey. I don’t like it, but I have to detain you. I’m not throwing you in a damn cell.. but I’ll have to at least hold you in your old quarters while I figure this out.”

 

     “ _Poe_.” She pressed.

 

     He held up a hand. “I’m sorry, Rey.”

 

     Her shoulders slumped in defeat. Her eyes watched Ben’s now barely visible figure disappear down a corridor, her heart going with him. Poe pulled her along gently. “We’ll do all we can for him, Rey. You have my word.”

 

     She nodded solemnly, utterly spent. “If he dies, Poe, you might as well take that blaster and put it right between my eyes. I mean that.”

 

     Poe gave her a sympathetic look. “Come on.. let’s go.” Leading her away from the hangar, she heard him mutter, “Never thought I’d be the one to help save _Kylo Ren’s_ life.”

 

     She turned to him slightly, her eyes hollow and sad. “It’s Ben.” She whispered. “His name is Ben.”

 

[Wildfire Soundtrack ](https://open.spotify.com/user/1288719735/playlist/5YF52cl1jizo5eu2ATAvq9?si=Q8HZVS7XST-GyOlkWhRk-A) 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Won’t lie, this one was hard for me. I’ve been blocked all week because I’ve been overly excited about my AU, and I was just stuck. I almost scrapped the whole thing. Shoutout to gopherbroke for giving me the key to cracking this/not letting me quit and thanks to seekerofhappiness for putting up with my incessant babbling all day. <3 You guys are my favorite.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don’t know why I can’t let this story go, it’s utter garbage at this point. They’re in my head though, and I know I won’t be satisfied until I get it all out. For those of you still indulging me- I’d hug you if i could. <3

“Never Give Up On You” by Lucie Jones 

      Rey paced the confines of her old quarters restlessly. It had been _three_ days since she watched the rebel fighters carry Ben off towards the med bay. Poe had been by a few times these past few days, giving her reports on his progress and overseeing a med droid in the treatment of  her minor wounds. She had begged Poe to just let her _see_ Ben, but Poe sympathetically told her that Ben had been unconscious since he’d been admitted and even if he _could_ let her see him, he wouldn’t know she was there. Rey had been calling for him incessantly through their bond, begging him to wake up, but to no avail. 

     She had learned since her arrival that Finn was off world with Leia, which was somehow comforting, she didn’t think she could handle a confrontation with him right now with her mind so preoccupied with Ben’s recovery. She huffed loudly, throwing herself down on her bed. This waiting was torture, and she was going insane with it. 

     A knock sounded at her door, and she hastily rose to open it. Poe stood on the other side, leaned against the door frame. “Hey,” he started. “Can I come in?”

     “As if I have a choice?” She grumbled.

     “Hey, don’t be like that Rey.” He sighed. “You _know_  my hands are tied here. You ran off with our greatest enemy!”

     “He’s not our enemy!” She shouted.

     “You’re the _only_  one who can attest to that! The man killed his _father_. He damn near killed _us_. Have you forgotten that?” Poe screamed back at her.

     Rey stared back at him stonily. “I haven’t. I know what he’s done Poe, but that’s not him. Not anymore.”

     Poe sighed deeply. “I hear you Rey, and I’m trying to see it from your point of view. You have to know though how bad it looks.”

     Rey pressed the palms of her hands to her eyes, growling in frustration and applying pressure until she saw stars behind her eyelids. “How is he?” She asked quietly.

     “That’s what I came to tell you.. he’s awake.” Poe replied.

     Rey shot up, grabbing a fistful of Poe’s jumper. “Take me to him!”

     Poe wrapped his hands gently around her wrists, prying her hands from his jumper. “We’ve moved him to a cell.”

     “You _what_?” She shrieked.

     “We had to. He’s awake, he’s going to be okay, but he’s still our enemy until proven otherwise.” He said evenly.

     “Poe so help me if you don’t let me see him..” She snarled.

     “You’re not in any position to make threats Rey.” He replied roughly, his voice raising slightly. “Now, calm down. We’ve received word from the General. Her and the others will be returning to base this evening. We’ll debrief her on the situation and she’ll decide what happens next. You have to be patient.”

     Rey huffed, turning from him and resuming her seat on her bed. “Fine. Just go.”

     “I really am sorry, if it’s any consolation.” Poe said softly.

     “Sure.” She replied half heartedly.

     He turned to leave, locking the door behind him. There were two guards placed outside at all times, ensuring she didn’t try to sneak out. The only contact she had with other people besides Poe’s visits were when one of the guards brought food. 

     She flung herself backwards on the bed, closing her eyes and reaching out to Ben through their bond.

     “ _Ben_?” She attempted. 

     There was a long silence, so long that she almost gave up before she felt his weak response brush against her mind.

     “ _I’m here_.” His voice sounded quiet, pained.

     “ _Ben! I’m so glad to hear your voice. They have me locked in my old quarters. I’m not allowed out. Tell me you’re okay._ ” She begged.

     “ _I’ll live, barely. It’s all thanks to you._ ” He replied earnestly. 

     “ _I told you I’d be the one to save you some day. Who’d have thought it would be so soon?_ ” She grinned, ecstatic to hear his voice when she’d been so afraid that she never would again.

     His soft chuckle echoed through her mind. “ _I know. Who would have thought? That’s my brave little Jedi for you._ ”

     She smiled softly, the endearment wrapping around her like a soft blanket. Ben was alive. Nothing else mattered but that. Her joy radiated through her, filling her up and seeping out like overflowing water. 

     “ _Where are you? Describe your surroundings._ ” She asked.

     “ _I’m in a cell, they carried me through what looked to be a mess hall, then down a long corridor._ ” He replied.

     “ _Got it_.” She responded determinedly.

     Rey closed her eyes, imagining the trek through the mines that would lead her to Ben’s cell. She knew the place he’d described, she’d escorted people there who’d Poe had brought back for interrogation back in the early days of their arrival. She willed herself there with him, and when she opened her eyes, she saw Ben’s slumped, tired form folded into a small cot on a dirt floor.

     “ _Ben_.” She gasped. She ran to him, falling to her knees and clutching his face to her chest. She peppered his face with urgent kisses, so grateful that he was _here_. That he was _alive_. “I thought I’d lost you.”

     His arms came up to snake around her waist, pulling her tighter to him. “For a minute there I thought you did too.”

     Her fingers wound into the soft waves of his hair, letting her fingers run through the tendrils in a soothing motion. They’d removed the black robes he was usually partial to, she assumed they’d had to cut them off him to treat his wounds. In their place they’d dressed him in a cloth tunic the color of sand, with dark trousers in earth tones. The clothes made him look more like Ben Solo than he ever had in all the time she’d known him. It was disconcerting, but not unpleasant.

     Ben tried to sit up more, wincing from the effort. Rey took the hem of his tunic, lifting it to inspect the damage. Tight bandages wound around his waist, clean from the looks of them. So at least they had been properly taking care of him.

     “Have you seen Poe?” Rey asked curiously. 

     Ben nodded. “He escorted me to this cell. Is he always so.. upbeat?”

     Rey smiled. “Unfortunately.”

     “Even when he was treating me like a prisoner he was still so.. chipper.” Ben told her, scrunching up his face like it offended him. 

     Rey laughed despite their situation. The fact that Ben was still around to be his normal moody self made her so happy she almost felt like crying. She kissed him full on the mouth, overjoyed by his presence.

     “Ah, careful.” He said, wincing. She had squeezed him too tightly in her excitement. 

     “Sorry.” She replied sheepishly. 

     He put a hand to her cheek, smoothing his thumb over the scar there. “Don’t be. I’m just glad you’re here.”

     She bit her bottom lip, nervous to break the news to him. “Your mother will be back tonight.”

     His jaw tensed, his cheek moving slightly as he ground his teeth in thought. He turned his head slightly, staring at the wall before he replied. “I heard. Poe mentioned she would be deliberating as to what to do with us when she arrived.”

     “She won’t keep us locked up. I just know it.” Rey assured him.

     “She won’t keep _you_  locked up perhaps.” He sighed.

     “Ben, whatever you’ve done your mother still loves you. I _know_ she does.” Rey pressed.

     He let his head fall back against the wall, his eyes staring at nothing. “I don’t know Rey, maybe I _deserve_  to remain here.”

     Rey huffed angrily. “Stop it Ben. Don’t do that. You can’t keep punishing yourself for the past. Remember what you told me that day on Ach To?”

     His eyes drifted to meet hers, staring into their depths but not responding.

     Determined, she kept going. “You told me to let the past die. You have to follow your own example. _Let the past die_. Who you are now is not who you were, don’t let the sins of your past rule your future. If you let the darkness consume you, you’ll drown in it. I’m here, Ben. I’ll _always_  be here. If for nothing else, live for _me_.”

     His mouth parted just slightly, air escaping between his lips in a soft sigh. He swallowed hard, wrought with emotion. Pulling her to him, he pressed her face against his chest, cradling her against him. Softly he stroked her hair, not saying anything in response. She let him process her words, content to just lie there and listen to the sounds of his heartbeat. 

     It was several moments before he finally spoke. “I may never deserve you, Rey, but I thank the Gods that I have you anyway.”

     “You deserve so much more than you allow yourself, Ben.” She replied softly. 

     He smiled in the darkness, unbeknownst to her, and pressed a kiss to her hair. They lay like that for what felt like forever, saying nothing. Just reveling in the marvel that they both had lived to fight another day. Rey’s eyes grew heavy in their quiet embrace, sleep had been restless and unsatisfying the past few days. She had been so worried for Ben that she had found it difficult to truly rest. Her eyes drifted closed, the steady rise and fall of Ben’s chest lulling her to sleep.

     Rey woke much later, back in her own quarters. Falling asleep had severed the connection, and for a moment she panicked for not waking next to Ben.

     “ _Ben_?” She tested.

     “ _Still here_.” He replied wearily. 

     She sighed in relief. She had almost been afraid she had dreamed his recovery. A sharp knock sounded at her door, and she slid her legs over the side of her bed to rise to answer it. Pulling it open, she was shocked to find Finn standing in the door frame. His full lips were pulled into a tight frown, and his normally kind eyes were hard and unforgiving. 

     “Hello, Finn.” Rey said wearily. 

     His jaw worked furiously, his anger written all over his face. “So. You came back.” He ground out.

     “Yes. We weren’t given much of a choice.” She sighed.

     “ _We_.” He spat. “You brought _him_.” 

     “He goes where I go, Finn. You need to come to terms with that.” She replied testily. 

     Finn noticed the scar marking her face, reaching out a hand and turning her cheek to see it in a better light. “Did _he_ do that to you?” He asked, outraged.

     Rey shook her head fiercely. “Of course he didn’t. A madman did this to me, if it weren’t for Ben, he would have _killed_ me.”

     He scoffed. “If it weren’t for him, you wouldn’t have been in the situation to begin with.”

     Rey shot him an angry look. “Careful.”

     Finn huffed, shaking his head and looking away from her as he stepped inside her quarters. “So you’re really _with_  him now?” He said “with” as if it was an offensive thing to him, but to be fair she supposed in his mind it was.

     She nodded evenly, not letting him get to her. “I am.”

     He ran a hand over his frustration. “I just don’t get it Rey. _Why_?”

     “I can’t.. I can’t explain it to you Finn. He’s like.. he’s like the sun. Without him I’m just a dead planet, nothing to keep me grounded. I revolve around him because he gives me _life_. I’m with him because without him, I cease to _be_.” She cried.

     Finn’s face was contorted into a look of what could almost be construed as anguish. Rey’s heart grew tight with the knowledge that she’d hurt him, but she knew there was nothing she could do to soothe him. They may never be friends again, but she hoped with time he would learn to at least accept her choice. 

     Finn released a shaky breath, unable to speak further on the matter. He shook his head, tabling the discussion. “I came to tell  you that the General wants to see you.”

     Rey perked up. “Leia.”

     Finn nodded. “I’m to bring you to her quarters.” 

     Rey jumped up from where she had seated herself, urging him to lead the way. “Take me to her.”

     Rey followed Finn past the two guards posted at her quarters and down the corridor towards the mess hall. Leia stayed on the opposite side, near where the med bay was located. Rey’s mind drifted back to what was only maybe a week ago when she’d made this same trip with Finn. Her life had changed completely since then. 

     “ _I could say the same._ ” She heard Ben whisper against their bond. She should have known he’d be listening. 

     “ _I’ll convince Leia to see you. She’ll listen to me._ ” She assured him.

     “ _I don’t.. I don’t know if I’m ready to see her._ ” He replied, sounding unsure.

     “ _Then get ready. I won’t have you dying in a cell. She is your mother, and it’s time we fixed this._ ” Rey replied somewhat forcefully. 

     “ _Brave little Jedi, always ready to take on the entire world if need be._ ” He chuckled softly. 

     Rey smiled to herself, careful to quickly rearrange her features into a more serious look before Finn saw. She followed him through the mess hall, down a winding corridor lit by lamps ingrained into the ceiling. Finn did not speak to her for the entirety of their walk, his emotions keeping him silent. Rey was somewhat grateful for it, too nervous for the conversation ahead. 

     When they reached the steel door that led into Leia’s quarters, Finn merely gave her a tight nod before leaving her standing alone outside of them. Rey steeled herself for the confrontation ahead, took a deep breath, and opened the door.

     Leia was hunched over a large wooden table, adorned with various maps and notes she’d scribbled her half formed planned and ideas onto. Leia didn’t acknowledge her at first, she was distracted by her conversation with- 

     “ _Chewie_!” Rey cried out. The Wookie turned to her, howling in greeting. She rushed to him, forgetting the circumstances she were here under in her excitement to see him. She wrapped her arms tightly around his furred middle, and he yowled happily as he returned her embrace. 

     “You’re back?” She asked.

     He grunted a reply, telling her he’d met Leia after his mission had ended, and returned home with her earlier in the evening. Rey had missed him greatly in the weeks he’d been gone, and was overjoyed that she was able to see him now when things seemed so dire. 

     Remembering why she was here, her gaze fell to Leia, who was eyeing her evenly, her expression blank. She turned to Chewie, telling him that they would finish the debriefing later. He howled his reply and gave Rey a pat on her shoulder before leaving them alone in Leia’s quarters. 

     Leia took a seat near her war table, motioning towards the opposite chair for Rey to sit. Rey took a seat, remaining quiet while she waited for Leia to speak. 

     “So,” Leia started. “You’ve had quite the week I hear.”

     Rey’s chin dropped as she stared at her feet. She hated the thought of disappointing the General, and was unsure of where to even begin to explain.

     Saving her the response, Leia continued, “All this time.. all this time he was with you?”

     Rey could only nod, her eyes still unable to meet Leia’s.

     “Look at me.” The General demanded.

     Rey met Leia’s bright, hazel eyes, lit with a sort of passive curiousness. She didn’t look angry, merely as if she wanted to understand. “You told Finn and Poe that there is good in my son, is that true?”

     “General..  he’s not the man we faced on the Starkiller base. He’s changed. He’s my.. he’s _our_  Ben.” Rey pleaded.

     Leia stared at the floor, mulling over Rey’s words. “I’ve wanted to believe my son could be saved for the greater part of _ten_  years, Rey. I’ve been disappointed time and time again. How can I believe that this time is different?”

     Rey sighed, her gaze going to the ceiling as she struggled to find the right words. “He’s different with.. he’s different with _me_ , Leia. _We_ are the balance. Separate, we can accomplish nothing. Together.. together there’s _nothing_  we can’t do. I’ve seen the good inside him, I’ve felt it. He will always struggle with the bit of darkness that will always haunt him, but I _promise_ you I will _always_ be there to bring him back to the light.”

     Tears clouded Rey’s vision, her need for Leia to just _understand_ so great that she felt the weight of it settling on her chest, making it difficult to breathe. Leia gave her a hard look, mulling it over. It felt like _years_ before Leia’s mouth broke into a soft smile, causing Rey to release the breath she hadn’t realized she was holding. Leia leaned in her chair, placing a hand over Rey’s in comfort. 

     “Then lets go to him together. I want to see my son.” Leia said softly. 

     Rey’s tears fell freely now, and she reached up to wipe them away. Leia rose to  leave, wasting no time, and Rey followed after her. They made the walk in silence, Leia lost in thought and Rey too nervous to break the tension between them. Ben was silent through the bond, Rey knew he had been listening and was most likely dreading the long awaited meeting between mother and son.

     They found him exactly where Rey had left him, behind the bars of his cell, sitting on a cot on the floor. His head turned slightly, his eyes meeting Rey’s briefly before slowly traveling to those of his mothers. For a moment Leia merely stared down at her son, unable to move or speak. Rey stood back, giving them the space they deserved. 

     Leia silently reached out to unlock the door to Ben’s cell, stepping through the doorway and standing before him. With great effort Ben rose from his position on the cot, his tall frame towering over the small form of his mother. She stared up at him, still not speaking. Ben’s expression grew wary, and the tension in the room proved too much for him.

     “I know I’m the last person you want to see.” He said evenly, his voice composed and cool. “I tried to tell Rey not to bring me here. I knew seeing me would bring you nothing but pain. I’ve failed you as a son. I _killed_ your husband.. my _father_. I know there’s no reason that you should ever trust what Rey says about me. If you just give me a chance I promise-”

     Leia cut him off suddenly, wrapping her arms around him and pulling him down into her tight embrace. Ben stood shocked, unable to process what was happening. For a moment he stood awkwardly, his arms hanging loose at his sides as he struggled with how to proceed. Slowly, Rey watched as his arms creeped upwards, winding around his mother’s shoulders, returning her embrace. She saw Ben’s shoulders shake with emotion, and Rey felt her own eyes glistening once again with tears from the gravity of it all.

     “ _Ben_.” Leia cried, her voice thick with unshed tears. “You’re _home_.”

     “Yes mother,” he murmured. “I am.”

 

[Wildfire Soundtrack](https://open.spotify.com/user/1288719735/playlist/5YF52cl1jizo5eu2ATAvq9?si=_IxEWWbTSyWBX6mwrewYRw)


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